Abundant Empress

True and Simple Wisdom

2012-02-09T06:09:00.000-08:00

I came across this gem while visiting a friend's Facebook page. So simple, and so absolutely true.

"If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse."
-- Jim Rohn

Do your best to find a way so you don't have to try to live with your excuses.

Completed Project

2012-02-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

I have completed a project that I will be delivering to my client tomorrow. He wanted a family heirloom lazy susan to be painted with the image of a family member with her first grandchild.

All artwork is the property of Abundant Empress, LLC, copyright 2012 Abundant Empress, LLC
All photos are property of Abundant Empress, LLC and are copyright 2012 Abundant Empress, LLC

And a detail view:

Small Changes -- The Way to Big Results -- Part Deux

2012-01-28T17:29:00.000-08:00

I am getting over a cold that kind-of kicked my butt this week, though it did not stop me completely, and I was still able to accomplish some of my goals. I need to scurry on the remaining goals though.

Today I am posting just a short entry on another of the small changes I started making in my life during December. Each of the small changes is making its own difference, but cumulatively, they are working in an almost exponential way.

This particular change was to give up watching junk TV. I confess I probably watched too much television especially when I had cable. When I dumped the cable due to the high price, my television consumption decreased naturally because I had less channels to endlessly surf.

Then one day in early December I realized that I was watching a program on network television that I had absolutely zero interest in, but I was just sitting there watching it anyway. That was when I made the decision to take back my time and my brain cells and focus them in more productive ways. This change has allowed me to think more about running my business, consider and learn more about my ideal client, make some decisions about how I want to run things and how I do not want to run them, work on art, prepare for shows, network with other artists and entrepreneurs, and enjoy my home life more because I get more done around the house. Another benefit is that I move my body more rather than sitting on the sofa, and it is making a difference as well. I feel better; I am more flexible. And my home is a more enjoyable place to be because I put more effort into maintaining and caring for it.

This is not to say I never watch television; I do. I have a few favorite programs that I really enjoy watching and I make the effort and set aside the time to watch them. I especially enjoy House because, let's face it -- I love Hugh Laurie, I enjoy watching Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsay because, yes, I love him too, but I also love that he takes something that is failing and helps turn it into something that thrives. If a good historical documentary plays on public television, I watch it with great interest. And I love movies. If I see that a movie that I enjoy is being shown, I watch it and enjoy the heck out of it. I make popcorn, I get my favorite blanket and my slippers, and I do it up right. But when it is over, I turn off the television and go on to something else that matters in my life. I don't just allow the glare and flicker to wash over my numb brain for another couple of hours as I used to.

Though I am not sure whether it has made me more creative, per se, cutting way down on watching television has provided me with more time to foster and practice my creativity. Creativity requires time, time that is free of electronic images constantly bombarding me.

So there it is, another small change that is yielding big results. Have I missed the channel-surfing? No. Have I missed the 7-minute segments of continuous commercials? Heck no. Have I missed anything worth seeing? I doubt it. Have I found more than I gave up? Oh most definitely.

Today's Art Journal Entry

2012-01-24T19:42:00.000-08:00

I made this multi-media entry today (mix of collage and acrylic paint). This reflects some of my feelings over the past week or so. The mountains are the Smoky Mountains during a green season.

It Makes A Difference

2012-01-23T09:06:00.001-08:00

If you can't see it, write it. When you read it, say it.

This Is Dedicated To The Ones I Love

2012-01-22T12:21:00.000-08:00

Dedicated with love to my father and mother, who are both creative wonders in my world. They may not have recognized this, and I never shared it with them, but they are both very creative, energetic, and artistic people with their own special ways of expressing it. They are both in their early 80s and can still run circles around me.

My dad is wonderfully creative and artistic in his work with model railroading. He has created an entire city and surrounding farmlands complete with handmade ponds that look deep and real, all with his own imagination and his own hands (working with N1 scale models, which is very challenging). It is a work of art and obviously a labor of love. When I was a child and so very in love with horses (still am), my dad purchased two of the model horse assembly kits rather than purchase an already-assembled model. Then he worked with me (who am I kidding -- he did the work) on assembling them and he added wonderful artistic touches to make the models much more realistic -- painting white socks on one, building up the cropped mane on another using layers of epoxy, filling in the filigree on the saddle with silver paint and then wiping off the excess so a wonderful scrolly silver design remained.

My mother is a creator of wonderful, delectable foods out of the simplest ingredients, and a maker of a very comfy and welcoming home. Her ability to joyfully welcome unexpected guests and prepare a bountiful feast at the drop of a hat using just what she has on hand has always amazed me. She has a gift for hospitality such as I have rarely heard of, and her sewing skills were extraordinary. She is clever as a fox when shopping for the best products at the best values, and she dresses so attractively with lovely colors that complement her. Her style is simple and homespun and beautiful. I remember one evening when I was small; I was wearing my jammies and curled up next to my mom on the loveseat while she drew a picture of a horse for me. She did a great job, and that is a great memory

It is with great appreciation, love, and respect that I dedicate this slideshow that a friend sent to me to the artists who raised me (you may need to click on the arrows at the center bottom of the slide show screen to proceed to the next slide):

Creativity Late in Life

View more presentations from Mitch Ditkoff

First Art Journal Entry

2012-01-21T06:55:00.000-08:00

This is page one of a tiny book full of blank pages to provide me with a place to experiment, try different techniques with the acrylics, think, dream, explore my own soul.

Small Changes -- The Way To Big Results

2012-01-19T09:51:00.000-08:00

When I returned from my trip to Atlanta, GA in early December, I felt the time was ripe for me to start making some small changes in my life in order to be more aligned with what I want to do and be. I knew it was best to start with small changes. Sometimes we want to make the big sweep and change everything we don't like at once. That kind of approach does not work for me, and I am guessing that it probably does not work for many of you.

One Change I Have Made
Knowing myself and my tendency to falter at making lasting changes, I started very small with just a few simple, easy ones. Here is just one example:

I drink plain water, V-8 Juice, or herbal tea at home now (with one small exception). This may seem insignificant, but I used to drink a particular brand of diet cola ALL the time. If I needed to take an aspirin, I actually poured a bit of cola to wash it down rather than simply running a glass of water. And I wondered why I had heartburn so often -- Hello! Cola soda can actually eat through nails, so it is pretty acidic on the tummy as well.

The exception is that when my cousin Patty comes over, we drink Diet Sunkist. That is her favorite. The orange soda flavor is nostalgic for me so I have enjoyed it, but I do think the novelty is wearing off and I will be choosing water in the future.

When I go to a restaurant, I still do have an occasional diet cola, although that choice is getting to be a rarity as well.

No Soda, But...
For a period of weeks, since I was not drinking soda (and was still telling myself that water was too boring for my very precious and jazzified taste buds) I constantly drank a discount brand of powdered sugarless lemonade (a knock-off of Crystal Light). I thought there could not possibly be any negative physical effects from drinking the powdered diet lemonade.

My tendency, however, has always been to go overboard with new things I like. So rather than have a glass or two of this per day, I drank this concoction when ever I needed a drink. I know I am not the only one out there who does things like this, by the way. A lot of people out there are NEVER without their cup of coffee or their big covered gas-station mug of soft drinks. We are many.

Since I was drinking so much of this diet lemonade powder concoction, I started having some issues such as heartburn and lots of needed "extra bathroom time" if you get my meaning. There is a reason for the warnings not to partake of too much sugar substitutes -- you will spend a lot of time in the bathroom for reasons that are less than attractive. I got tired of that, and it started to take up too much of my day.

When I ran out of my supply of these powder mixers, I did not purchase any more.

So now I drink water, V-8, or tea about 90% of the time. I started drinking V-8 regularly when my mother mentioned to me that she drinks it because she does not eat enough vegetables. I am the same way; cooking for one sometimes means I don't get the veggies I need every day. So I started drinking two glasses of V-8 (either the low-sodium or regular) per day, and it is a delight. I pour it over ice, add a little celery seed and Smoky Chipotle Tabasco Sauce to it, and voila -- instant no-alcohol, tasty cocktail. I actually think my sight has improved a bit from drinking V-8. And while V-8 tends to be pricey, I always purchase as much as I can when there is an in-store sale and I use a manufacturer coupon. I have been able to get it for less than half price every time this way.

The Big Results From the One Change
I am no longer spending so much time in the bathroom. I rarely have heartburn. I have lost weight -- yes, lost weight. We think that diet drinks surely aid us in our quest to shed extra pounds or help us prevent extra pounds from glomming onto our bodies. Actually, though, and especially if we over-consume them, diet drinks (especially ones with caffeine) cause us to retain water. We tend to think that caffeine has diuretic properties, and this is probably so -- in the short term and in moderation. But too much caffeine in your system will actually make you retain water, and therefore, water weight.

Extra water weight causes us to bloat, causes already painful joints to swell and become more painful, so shedding excess water weight is a relief and makes us look better. My face is less puffy, my tummy area is a bit flatter, and my ankles are not swollen.

In addition, since I am not bothered by heartburn at night, I can get to sleep easier. I don't toss and turn seeking a position that won't bother my heartburn, and I don't have to get back out of bed to take anti-acids. I sleep better. I don't have the jitters. My anxiety is more manageable.

All of these positive results aid and support me in my life as an artist - entrepreneur. They make life easier and allow me to focus my energies where I need to.

More To Come
I will be posting more about the small changes I am making that are yielding big results as days go by. I would also love to hear about any small changes you are making that yield big results.

Here's To Us!!!

On Top Of Old Smoky -- Almost

2012-01-18T18:33:00.000-08:00

I returned this evening from spending a few days in Asheville, North Carolina with a bunch of truly awesome entrepreneurs and life-changers. My brain is fried from all the learning and activity, but it was a very helpful experience. I have some "next steps" in front of me for this week that I need to have done by Monday. I am excited about this.

Also, I registered again to offer my hand-painted jewelry and reclaimed items for display and sale at the Rosemount Spring Craft Show on March 17 at Rosemount High School. I love working at that show because it is very well-run, it is laid out well, and the students are great about helping move our things and making sure we get breaks. I look forward to seeing my friends Heike, Sandy, Teri, and Lynn there. They have lovely things to show as well.

Back to Asheville -- the city is located in the Smoky Mountains, and though I did not get to see a lot of the actual city this time because we were very busy and I only stayed the 2 days, I can tell it is a charming place. These photos do not tell the true story since they were taken from the 12th floor restaurant of my hotel using my smartphone, and it is winter so the trees are bare, but they give you some idea:

If you look at the horizon on the left side of the photo, you can see the faint outline of the mountains growing higher in the distance.

Again that faint blue mountain horizon (and a new condo building)

The area on the other side of the hotel is really delightful -- lots of old buildings on the hills of downtown, but I did not get over there with my phone or a camera.

The people I met were wonderful and very creative. I was amazed at how we came up with ideas and solutions and suggestions for each other. Sometimes we entrepreneurs get so hung up on the trees we cannot see the forest, so we need to help each other out with getting unstuck and getting back to what we need to focus on.

The Biltmore Estate is located in Asheville, the breathtaking mansion built and owned by the Vanderbilt family. Next time I visit, I would like to take a tour of Biltmore.

My writing tonight is probably a bit loopy because I am really tired right now, looking forward to a good night's sleep.

One Person's "Crazy" is Another Person's Success

2012-01-06T18:46:00.000-08:00

As you move forward on your life journey, the true journey of your soul's purpose, you can expect to be met with skepticism, doubts, and projected fears of some people in your life. I say "projected fears" because many times people who say they are worried about you or are fearful "for you" as you travel your road are really fearful for themselves; often they cannot imagine themselves taking the risks that you are taking, so their own fear becomes a fear for you. I don't blame these folks; I have been in their shoes too and felt what they have felt for other people sometimes. I understand where they are coming from, though I do appreciate when they are able to refrain from sharing their fear for me with me because it does not really serve anything.

The Flip Side
You will also find people who are extremely encouraging, often because they have followed their own purposeful path and because of their commitment and constant choice to act with courage even while feeling fear, have made their purpose pay off successfully (and there are a LOT of these people out there -- success is not so scarce as we often want to believe; it is abundant). And still some people are not necessarily on the same path you are, but they encourage you and support your efforts nonetheless. These are the people who love to watch what will happen next (in a supportive way, like rooting for their favorite sports team). These people are delightful. They are the ones who burst out with an uncontrollable, "Wow!" when they hear of your successes, your challenges, your victories.

The Ones You Need to Blow Off
Yes, it is okay to blow people off if they undercut you, minimize your efforts and challenges, and continually try to push you off balance. Thankfully in my experience, there have been few people like this, but there was one definite case where I had to put up some psychological safeguards for myself and limit my association with a person who was very critical of me. Constructive criticism is one thing, and I encourage people I trust to give me honest feedback on some of my creations (I do not invite feedback on everything as it is not always appropriate or needed). But one person did come to my shows and stand at the table and tell me what she did not like about each item I displayed. She did this rather loudly when people were coming to my table to view my work. This troubled me somewhat as I felt that if she really needed to say something, she could say it to me privately.

I was able to confirm her agenda when I saw her facial expression turn grumpy when people came to my table and complimented me on my work or asked for my card, inquired about custom orders. This woman did not want my good. For whatever reason, she wanted power over my ability to generate success. Eventually, I had to drop that association altogether. It served neither of us in a positive way.

Who is to Say What is Realistic?
We often think reality is set in stone somehow. But whose reality are we talking about? Everyone views everything from their own set of parameters -- their specific beliefs, their specific background, their specific experiences, their specific fears, their specific desires. When someone tells us we are not being realistic, we need to be careful about automatically believing that statement. We need to be careful about taking it to heart, lest it be to our own detriment. Life and the concept of reality are fluid -- anything can happen and does. Weigh all the stuff that comes at you from outside you against what you know in your heart to be true for you. Every day I question reality; much of the world is upside-down half the time. So I look within at what I know to be my purpose, my calling, and I play to that chord within me. So far, it has not failed me, not once.

More of Loving Other Artists

2011-12-30T13:43:00.000-08:00

I have posted these words before, and frankly, I think it is becoming part of a blog series for me. Writer / Artist Julia Cameron said, "Artists love other artists." This is so true for me. I could spend the rest of my days tirelessly observing and learning from other artists, how they live, where they work, how they create, and of course, admiring their completed works.

I was noodling on YouTube today and came across this absolute gem of an artist. Her name is Shilpa Ruchandani, from India, and currently living in Leeds in the U.K. Shilpa has a beautiful, gentle and generous spirit. She is an educated, degreed artist, but she has an open heart toward anyone who loves and wants to make art, and she shares her smarts and her talent. Her work is beautiful, and her videos are like little magical journeys. Her work and her process fascinate me, and her attitude is so welcoming and kind, so positive.

For those of you who love to see the studios of other artists, this will be an especially lovely treat. Now that I have seen this, I will not complain about my cramped studio again (or at least, if I do, I will take it back and adjust my attitude immediately).

Enjoy:

If You Can't Quite Get Yourself to Believe In Your Dreams

2011-12-26T15:21:00.000-08:00

Hello All, I hope you had a lovely holiday and that the week leading to New Year's goes well for you.

A Bit About My Christmas
I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at my parents' home as usual. My sisters and I offered to do all the cooking, but Mom insisted on doing the actual meals. Roxy and I brought home-made cookies, and I brought some veggies and dip I made from 16 ounces of regular sour cream blended with a packet of Knorr Vegetable Soup mix. Regular sour cream works better for this blend than the lite varieties. Once you stir the sour cream and soup mix together, refrigerate for at least 1 hour to let the veggies in the mix soften and then it is ready to eat. It makes a lovely tasty dip with good texture.

Mom made Paella for Christmas Eve. That is a labor-intensive dish. She made it because I remembered how much I loved it the one time she made Paella many years ago. I truly did not expect her to go to the trouble, but she made it and it was DELICIOUS! On Christmas Day, she made Beef Stroganoff. The woman can cook like nobody's business. Roxy concocted lovely salads to accompany each respective meal, two different varieties of salad with fresh greens, nuts, fruits, and tangy-sweet dressings -- like a taste of spring in winter.

This was my first Solstice and Christmas without my husband in twelve years. I missed him and the life we shared together very much, but I still enjoyed the festivities and the company, and my sister's dog is a hoot.

My Thoughts For Today -- When Actual Belief Becomes Difficult
When we are working toward the realization of a dream, having a clear vision is very helpful in building and maintaining the belief necessary to sustain us and to manifest results. It is necessary to constantly renew that vision in our mind's eye and then to practice belief. Yes, to me, belief is a practice; we don't just get to do it once and then - POOF! - all is accomplished. Building vision and the belief to support and manifest it is a repetitive practice, hopefully a daily practice. Daily practices become habits, second nature, and even though we might say we don't have time for practicing vision and belief, we need to remember that when we are working on manifesting our dreams in this world, that practice becomes as valuable as nourishing ourselves with food or sleeping at night. Ten minutes, five minutes -- if that is all you can find time for, it still makes a difference if it is done daily.

Faltering
Now, I am not a stellar example of someone who daily practices belief or other healthy disciplines, and when I do not practice building and holding my vision, it becomes very hard to try to rebuild it. And then believing in it is that much more difficult. Other things can also make it difficult to hang onto our vision or to our practice of believing. When we are stressed by events in our lives, when we hear more and more stories of the poor economy and global troubles, it can become more than difficult to hold on to our faith in our dream, in ourselves, and in the grace of our Creator, the Author of our True Selves, the Sower of our dreams. So we falter.

Faltering can become a real issue if it prevents us from getting back to our practice quickly. We can lose momentum and even stop altogether. As anyone who has exercised regularly and then stops for several weeks and starts again knows, it can be tough to get going again. You don't quite start from Square One, but almost.

If we falter often enough and long enough without taking up our practice again, our vision can become lost and our beliefs as ineffective as dust motes in a breeze. It takes fortitude and work to prevent this from happening.

But what if we just are not up to doing that work for a time? What if the thought of working up our belief YET AGAIN is just too daunting? Vision and Belief are necessary in manifesting dreams, but what if we just cannot generate them? Have we lost everything we have worked for?

No, we have not lost all we have worked for. Anyone during the history of mankind who ever tried to act on his Vision, who had to build his belief in order to progress toward manifesting that vision, has faltered, sometimes miserably, sometimes to the point of losing the Vision for a time. But he does not quit altogether. As those who manifest our dreams, who find our own way in this world, we must do whatever we can to help ourselves along during the rough times.

Suspend Disbelief
When I took a film class in high school, I learned about the concept of the "Willing Suspension of Disbelief." This concept refers to the audience response to those portions of film/story plots or events that the audience knows cannot be true, cannot happen in real life. But for the purposes of engaging in and enjoying the story, the audience suspends their disbelief, decides to shut off their inner "reality voice" and just go with it.

I think that during our own times of faltering, our own tough times, we need to suspend our own disbelief. Even if we cannot muster a clear vision and firm belief within our hearts, we can decide not to disbelieve. Maybe we cannot wave our dream pom-poms and declare our great faith to the world at times, but we can decide to refrain from complaining, from making statements that negate our dream, from thinking that achieving our dream is impossible. This way, we preserve what faith we have built so far, we keep the vision intact, though perhaps we cannot see it clearly at the time. This way we refrain from doing damage until we can once again take up the building blocks.

Watch Your Words, Watch Your Thoughts, Do Your Work
While we suspend our disbelief, while we take care to refrain from negativity and complaining, while we refuse to allow ourselves to tear down what we have built even if we currently are not up to building more, it is important to keep doing the work we dream of. I currently have one custom order on my plate, for which I am thankful and for which the design is beginning to form in my mind. That order is due to the customer on February 1. I will sand it, prime it, and paint the base coat this week.

I was also approached about another custom order recently, one that would have been quite lucrative and would need to be completed by January 6. The request seemed firm, and I sent photos to the requester of the items I have on hand to work with -- a good variety, several pieces to choose from. The agreement was that if she wanted me to proceed, she would need to let me know by end of day December 22 so I could get started and complete the project by January 6. So far, I have not heard anything from her and the time to complete the project and make it as beautiful as I hoped to is running out. I could be bummed out about this, but instead I am proceeding with other work as I must do and removing my attention from what might not come through.

Keep Working; Action Begets Belief and Belief Begets More Action and More Action Begets Results
Besides the one firm custom order I do have, I am also preparing to work on a number of smaller items, both for jewelry and home decoration, for my lovely friends from India. Several of my friends are currently in the USA on assignment, so I will be able to ship the items to them easily, and they can bring some of my gifts back to India with them for the friends who are assigned in their home country right now. I am pleased to make gifts for my dear friends. They have brought me much joy over the years and constantly encourage my success. I am also planning to paint a little tray for my dear friend J who has been so helpful to me over the past years. He has had his eye on that tray and knows just what he wants for the design. I am excited to paint it and to create something very personal for him of my own concept on the back of the tray.

So even if much of the work I will be doing over the next month or so will not be "paid" work, the doing will be very good for me, the practice will only increase my skill and creative ideas, and giving of my true heart will increase my courage and strengthen my voice.

Of course, I will also be working on creating beautiful items to sell at shows and over the internet, but it is good to create things for people out of love and gratitude sometimes. Doing that helps infuse all your other work with intuition and spirit.

So remember, if you cannot build your beliefs right now, if you cannot see the vision, just do the work anyway and refrain from doing anything or saying anything that would denigrate what you have built already. Do your work. Suspend the disbelief and fill your mind with as many encouraging messages, songs, good memories or whatever you can think of to keep yourself ready for your vision to return to you, for your belief to follow. It will.

Christmas Wishes

2011-12-23T10:43:00.000-08:00

I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

P came over on Wednesday. We headed to the grocery store and purchased our cookie makings, and then came home. After taking a short break for each of us to enjoy a glass of Diet Sunkist soda with ice (we both love Diet Sunkist), we cleared the table, spread newspaper on the top of the chest freezer for cooling the cookies, and then got to the actual baking. P mixed all the dry ingredients and I ran the mixer for the moist ingredients. We listened to Christmas music as we worked -- Mary-Chapin Carpenter, Amy Grant, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Julie Andrews, Andy Williams, Alan Jackson. I plugged in the Christmas lights. Then it started to become the holiday for me. I started to get into the fun of it and the stress began to ease away.

We did not do a lot of baking, just made Peanut Blossoms (the kind with the Hershey Kiss in the middle), and regular Nestle Toll House Cookies from the recipe on the chocolate chip bag. I was glad we did not attempt to do more than that since we started watching Places in the Heart and P was enjoying that. I have seen it about 14 times and it never gets old. P treated us to pizza for supper (so sweet). P knows to dress warm and comfy when she comes here because my place can be a bit drafty sometimes, and she brought her Homer Simpson slippers. Here is s photo of her Homers.

By the time the cookies were all done, cooled, and packed up, and the movie was over, it was almost 10:30. I walked P down to the parking lot, and unfortunately, she accidentally dropped her box of chocolate chip cookies. They seemed to be okay, but we laughed, figuring that if they were broken, she could serve them over ice cream.

It snowed here this morning but we did not get much, and the sun is out now. I am not sure if we will have a white Christmas. I love the snow when I can be indoors and cozy with good movies, music, books, candles, and chocolate -- not necessarily in that order. I don't love it so much for driving, but I do love the romance of a winter scene. With that, I will wish you the best of holiday seasons and share a photo of some of that snowy holiday romance (not my photo).

When the Holiday Bells CLANG

2011-12-19T14:53:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas and New Year's. I don't love the stress, much of which is admittedly self-imposed. This week instead of hearing the holiday bells ring, I have heard them clang with discord. I have already made some missteps (getting started early) and they have been mildly bothersome. Can anyone relate?

Since I really want to have a happy holiday season, I am going to need to take some deep breaths and just move forward one step at a time. I need to stay away from drama and the lure of drama over the next several days. Drama has been a big issue in my life and in the family dynamic in the past, and I am learning (albeit slowly sometimes) to avoid stuffing my paws in the mix. Drama is just as addictive as a drug and can be hard to let go and set down. Drama is so jagged and exhausting. Yesterday I could have done better leaving it alone -- I want to avoid picking it up from someone else or plopping my own onto anyone else.

At least I recognized my errors before they became bigger and have a clear vision of my intention over the next couple of weeks.

On Wednesday my cousin P is coming over and we will be baking holiday cookies and watching the movie Places in the Heart on DVD. I look forward to that. P and I have always gotten along well, but this year we have become much closer and spent a lot more time together. She laughs at my jokes. I love her sense of humor. We "get" each other and accept each other, and that is so wonderful to experience with a family member at this time of year especially. I can relax around her and I think she feels that way around me too. The other day she told me it feels so wonderful to her to have such a good friend as me. Hearing that was a gift. It feels good to experience that level of comfort when G is gone from my life. G was the person with whom I could be completely myself, and with him no longer being in the picture, I have felt rather alone at times. I have great friends, but they don't come from my family tree (and all the stuff that comes with it). P is family and she is a friend, and we have a common bond in how we have experienced our families. It is truly a blessing to have her in my life. I am truly grateful.

Tasks for this evening:
Work on Christmas gifts
Empty the dishwasher and reload
Do a load of laundry and fold and put away what is currently on the line
Make supper -- I have some leftover Spicy Chipotle soup, so I might make a grilled cheese sandwich to go with it.
Take out trash
Get some things ready to take to Goodwill. Ran across a few things today that need to go, so I may as well bag them up.

The Second-Guess Deception

2011-12-18T16:40:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,

I have had some issues with creating new posts over the past week or so. The issues have not been so much technical (although some funky internet connection glitches did trip me up a bit), but rather mindset-related issues. Sometimes inner growth does not look so good. In fact, it often does not look like growth at all, but more like anything other than growth. Often it looks like a big inner tangle.

If You Are Making the Attempt, Trust That Results Are Being Manifested
It is important to understand that, if you are exploring what needs to be changed or created in your world, if you are making decisions based on your discoveries, and if you are taking action based on those decisions, then results are indeed being manifested. Growth is taking place. Change is happening. It just does not always look so good in the process.

Sometimes "not looking so good" can take the form of emotional upset, impatience, clumsiness, tears, and moments of inner paralysis and frustration. I am finally discovering that this is normal. This is even necessary as the changes we want to make, the life we want to create, REQUIRES upheaval, certainly on the level of our emotions and daily thinking. Nothing ever gets build without some necessary destruction. When a farmer tills the ground for planting, the blade cuts through the earth, dirt and stones are kicked up, things have to shift in order to be ready to accept the seeds. When a building is built, holes need to be dug in the earth for footings and foundations to be constructed. For a time, this looks like a real ugly mess, piles of earth everywhere, big stones stacked up, trucks hauling every which way. But eventually it becomes a structure that is useful to a community in business and commerce, or housing, or gathering places.

Creating Your New Life Will Require You To Trust Yourself
It is wonderful when you find wisdom from others -- be they sages of old or our contemporaries -- that applies to your situation, that encourages you, that helps you keep your momentum going. There is a flip side to this, of course (when is there not a flip side?). That flip side involves listening to too many voices other than the voice that comes from your purpose. I have spoken before about the many outside voices we might contend with, those voices usually coming from those who are worried about us, or from those to whom our decisions cause discomfort. I will not go into that in this post; that is a big topic to be discussed at some other time.

Sometimes the voice that holds us back is the voice of our own Second Guesser. We see what needs to be created or changed, we decide how to begin the task, and just as we are about to take that all-important step of ACTION, we suddenly crumble into all kinds of confusion and inner paralysis. Why? Because the Second Guesser shows up with a bunch of "what if" and "are you sure" and "what about _____" and "how will you ever _____" questions that stop us dead in our tracks. And there we sit, confused, sad, defeated, and not accomplishing anything.

The big lure of the Second Guesser is that it always seems so smart. It always seems so reasonable. It always seems so RIGHT. But is it really? How can it be so right when nothing gets accomplished in its presence? How can it be so right when it leaves us ineffective and unproductive?

Taming the Second Guesser
There is a scene in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in which the students are being taught to overcome their fears. Their challenge is to think of something that they fear, get it to appear before them, and then transform it into something innocuous and funny. For example, Ron Weasley, who is deathly afraid of spiders, conjures a huge spider and then puts roller skates on all eight of its legs so it is rendered helplessly trying to gain its footing.

I have done something similar with my Second Guesser. I have named her Winifred, and I picture her with her hair severely pulled into a tight bun, wearing horn-rimmed glasses, and constantly jotting things on a steno pad, jotting all her reasons why someone should not go ahead with a plan, why someone should never come to a firm decision, why someone should avoid taking action as minutes and days of life tick by with no action taken. For some reason, when I picture my Second Guesser in this way, she becomes easy to ignore. She is something like that character on Saturday Night Live that Phil Hartman used to play in the '90s -- the Anal Retentive Fisherman, Chef, etc. This character always got so caught up in how he was going to do something and futzing with all his gadgets that he never actually got around to fishing or cooking, or what have you. This is the realm of the Second Guesser. When you realize that, it becomes much easier to recognize this time-waster and move ahead.

You Must Trust You and Take Action
Action is key in overcoming the Second Guesser. It is not enough to realize that you are wasting time and opportunity second-guessing yourself. Once you recognize you are doing it, you must set an action step and take it. I am not the first to say that Action is the best weapon against worry or confusion or lack of confidence. I am not the first to say it, but I can say I am finding it to be true. In my own experience it has always been so scary to trust myself. After all, I have made some mistakes, and isn't that the worst thing in the world? NO. NO, it isn't. In fact, allowing yourself to move ahead enough to even make a mistake is probably the best thing in the world. We so often tend to think that a mistake is the final event in life, and that nothing is fixable afterward. If that were the case, though, we would never have taken that first step as babies and we would have stayed sitting on our diapered butts all our lives because we fell down and went boom after one or two steps.

I have made enough mistakes in my life, and yes, in my business, to prove that life does indeed go on, learning takes place, and I do better the next time. Any purpose-based life journey requires you to step out of your comfort zone not just some of the time, but most of the time, and to trust yourself. No one else can live your purpose. You are required to learn to trust yourself. Either you move ahead in that direction, or you go back to your old life and never experience what it means to live your purpose.

Your Second Guesser is just a misguided clerk, taking notes that mean nothing, totaling figures that do not match reality. Moving beyond your Second Guesser does not imply that you can go ahead and be a fool. For every important decision, do your research. Understand that you may need to take some small actions to prepare you for the BIG actions. For instance, if I decided that part of my purpose involved walking 10 miles in a charity event, I would need to work out regularly for several weeks beforehand so my funky knees would be strong enough to endure it. I would need to watch my diet to ensure I am getting good nutrition beforehand. But these conditions need not stop me from participating; they just require me to prepare well.

The Second Guesser can usually be recognized by the fact that it stops you from ever getting anywhere, or stops you from getting to your next step. In the case of meeting up with your Second Guesser, recognize who it is. See it as it really is -- just a meddlesome clerk getting in your way. Then make a plan based on your own purpose and needs and take action. Never delay for even a day some form of helpful action that can move you even an inch forward on your journey. We might not be heroes every day, but we can move ahead every day.

You Are That Pilgrim
Remember, you are that Pilgrim Christian in Pilgrim's Progress, you are Frodo in Lord of the Rings, you are Harry, Ron, and Hermione in Harry Potter, you are the warrior Arjuna in The Bhagavad Gita. Anyone who desires to live their purpose must go that journey and learn to bypass the wasters of time and effort such as the Second Guesser. Winifred can wait. I cannot.

"A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins wtih One Step" -- Lao Tsu

Sometimes Tough Stuff Becomes Useful Quickly

2011-12-12T17:31:00.000-08:00

Memories from a Marriage
As the year draws to a close, I spend time reflecting on everything it held. In many ways, I feel grateful for the fact that it is ending and I won't have to live through it again. Even in circumstances such as mine when it became very clear that it would be harmful (even devastating) for me to remain in my marriage, I have to say that the process of separating and eventually making a final break is the most painful thing I have ever been through.

The other night I looked through the 300 breathtaking photos I took during our honeymoon in Iceland (prior to volcanoes erupting) and Scotland. I did not shed a tear, not one. I did not cry because seeing those images and remembering the sheer delight of that time brought joyful feelings. We were really, really happy then. He was absolutely my Prince Charming, and especially so during those enchanted days spent at the amazing falls at Gullfoss, days spent driving across the breathtaking colors of the ground in Iceland. There are not a lot of trees there, but the vibrant colors of the grasses and wildflowers are beyond glorious. G was my Prince when, at dawn one morning, we chased the calf that had escaped its pen, back and forth over the winding farm roads and into grassy ditches near Linlithgow in Scotland. When the calf was tired of toying with us, it went back into the pen by itself. He was my Prince as we drove through the hills on Arran, stopping to see the great red deer bounding across the heather, taking photos of the waterfalls that formed spontaneously when it rained, catching the bright red of rowan berries against the silver spray. He was my Prince as we walked up to the stone circular monument that resides on a hill above Oban, peeking out through its arches down to the village and sea below. In the 20 minutes we spent at the monument, it rained 4 times -- 4 separate rain showers followed by sun, each yielding a rainbow. All happy memories, all treasures to keep in my heart.

And I know one thing for sure; I am going back to Scotland. I am setting my intention to go to Scotland to enjoy even more of it within the next two years.

Pain Yields Grace
It is in knowing that G had been my favorite human being, my Prince for many years, that made the pain of separation so sharp. For most of this year I have felt as if a very significant part of me was slowly being torn away, bit by bit. Each day I would wake to more ripping, more shreds of my heart left hanging. Tears poured from my eyes like water from weak plumbing. Had it not been for the open hearts and arms of my friends, I don't know what I would have done; they met me where I was without fail, with all love and very few questions, no judgments -- how precious, how healing.

Because of the loving support I received from friends, and because I had a lot of art projects to work on, I was carried quickly into healing. It does not mean I am all better forever more, but then, when are we all better forever more? There will always be a torn place in my heart where G once resided. But as it heals, the heart grows and expands and becomes far bigger than it originally was, and though the torn areas still show, they are a lovely part of the whole.

Currently, my friend DJ is going through a very tough and disruptive time in her life. Her corporate job was one of the casualties of this economy and she has had to move from her home. Thankfully, it sold even though the real estate market is very rocky right now. Still, it was her dream house, and she feels displaced in her life.

Today I was able to tell DJ that even though this was a very difficult year, things are really starting to change for me now, and I am experiencing some really great blessings. I am selling much more of my work, I am learning all kinds of new soulful things, making lots of new entrepreneurial friends, and I am getting the help I need to become more successful as I become more aligned with my soul's purpose. I am learning to cut down on my own personal drama and realize that blasting through obstacles is easier than I thought. And I am blasting through -- sometimes several times per day. Seven months ago things were looking pretty tough to me, but now, things are looking much better. Not only is life full of possibilities, life is becoming full of great realities.

While it all still scares me sometimes and it always will, I know now that the fear is just another weak plaster wall and I can punch through it and will be called upon to do so over and over again. I think it helped DJ to hear that though things look bleak and she has had to move and feels confused and unsettled right now, she will be okay. I advised her to take very good care of herself and pay attention to whatever she enjoys in life and do more of those things as often as she can. She will heal. It will take time, but she will begin to bloom again.

My Etsy Shop is Active Again

2011-12-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

My Etsy shop is open for business again. There are fewer items listed now as I sold some of my listed (and non-listed) items while I was in Atlanta.

I will be adding more this coming week.

Currently I am working on two custom pieces and then will be starting work on four other orders.

The season is busy, but fruitful and profitable so far. Enjoying this.

Home Sweet Home

2011-12-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

Returned from Atlanta, GA today, exhausted but happy. Met a lot of outstanding people, sold some of my work, received an order for a custom piece. Learned a lot, connected and caught up with a dear old friend from high school. It was all pretty amazing. I just don't have the pep right now to talk about it in detail. Need a good night's sleep.

A Very Short Foodie Post

2011-11-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

Oh dear, I am sitting here working on office tasks and picking out the chocolate cookies from the Bahlsen Assorted Holiday Cookies pack I purchased at Walgreens. And I am eating them. Then I will be left with just the plain ones, and what is the fun in that? I will still eat those too, of course.

New Items Posted to Etsy Shop

2011-11-28T20:04:00.000-08:00

My Etsy shop link is over to the right. Have a look.

What Are You Feeding? It Will Grow.

2011-11-27T17:33:00.000-08:00

Now that many of us have enjoyed a weekend of feeding ourselves a variety of savory and delicious meals and treats as we have celebrated Thanksgiving, it might be good to consider what we are feeding in our lives.

I am talking not about actual physical food, but rather, to what do we give our energy, our attention? It has been said, and I wholeheartedly agree, that what we focus on grows. What you nourish tends to thrive. What you over-nourish tends to get too big, sometimes too big to manage.

What Gets Your Time and Attention?
Think about the time, energy and attention you devote to various aspects of your life. Is much of your attention devoted to worry? Often mine is, and when this happens, I invariably notice that my worries are not relieved by the attention I devote to them; rather, they grow. Then the worry becomes a viciously increasing cycle that becomes harder and harder to manage. We often have trouble grasping the fact that worry accomplishes nothing. Worry is a thief, and we empower the thief to rob us of ever more of our life force by feeding it. Though it might seem difficult to do, we need to start starving our worry.

Often this is scary to do because we tend to cling to the idea that worry is indeed something of value, and if we don't do it, everything will fall apart. But this is a lie. Say it with me, "worry is a liar, worry is a liar, worry is a liar." Starve that liar.

Worry is not the only liar and thief we might be feeding. We also could be feeding outright fear, and often are. We could be feeding our own lack of self- confidence and as a result, lose more self-confidence every day as our own personal monsters grow fat on our devoted energy and attention, and as we continue to shovel our energy into their gaping mouths.

This is not my own original idea as I have heard this concept before, but it is definitely something I deal with frequently and wanted to talk to you about. The direction of our devotion, our attention, matters so much to how we feel day to day and how we respond to life's events. Are we feeding the hungry wolf who waits to consume us? Or are we feeding the kindly dog who is our friend and companion?

An Old, Old Truth
This concept is even older than modern psychology. In the New Testament, 1st Peter 5:8 talks about how "the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." (New International Version). That devil may not always come in the form of the red guy with the pointy tail and pitchfork. Sometimes that devil comes in the form of excessive worry, burning anger, negative self-talk, resentments, a mind focused on what is lacking in our lives, and many other things. That lion does roar, and I cannot think of anyone who is not cowed or convinced by a roaring lion in the room. And if we feed that lion, it will indeed grow large enough to devour our lives. Getting undevoured can be done, but can be difficult, so start as soon as you can.

Here's the deal. You can choose to starve that lion. You can choose to starve that wolf. You can choose to starve that devil. You can start today by directing your attention to something that benefits you. Do a 180 on it. Direct your attention to you and your own soul and spirit. Feed your soul and spirit what nurtures them. As you start to feed your own soul and spirit what nurtures them, you will naturally begin to starve the monsters. Show mercy and kindness to yourself. Give your tired heart a reprieve from dealing with monsters, and the monsters will start to fade away.

Maybe Not a Quick Fix, But a Necessary Solution
As with just about anything, learning something new can take time. Developing a new habit generally takes days if practiced every day. But if you are in pain every day from your worry or other negative emotions, events, or experiences that keep you stuck, drain you, and keep you from living as you want to live, then I hope you will give yourself a genuine opportunity to nourish yourself and starve your monsters.

Results can be shaky at first, and sometimes it is very uncomfortable to realize you don't have to be afraid and trapped any more. A trap can feel comfortable sometimes even if it is full of spikes, and that is because it is known. Sometimes we might think the trap we know is safer than the life we don't know. But that is an illusion, another lie, a roar from the lion.

An Example From My Own Life
This year (2011) I have taken several steps and made a concentrated effort to bring my life into closer alignment with my values and dreams, my vision and intention. This has resulted in some heavy-duty changes and unexpected but necessary losses. My marriage was one of those losses. It has been 6 months now since my husband and I have lived together, and almost 2 months since I had to leave the relationship altogether to the point where we do not speak and do not see each other at all. For the most part, I have been getting along okay, dealing with the grief and pain, moving ahead. But there is one thing that still really gets to me sometimes (and I apologize but I need to keep the nitty gritty details private), one thing that was just one more loss related to this situation and really fries my buns when I think about it too much.

About a month ago, I had to decide to just let that additional loss go and chalk it up to a learning experience. It was costing me far more emotionally to hang onto the anger over it than it cost me financially to let it go. I had been feeding that wolf way too much and it was starting to become all I could think about, and thinking about it hurt me and made me angry all the time. FEEDING IT ALSO STOPPED MY CREATIVITY. My work stopped, and I could not afford that. I had shows to prepare for. I could not afford it even without shows to prepare for. Talking long-distance to my tender friend Jan one evening helped me to stop feeding that particular monster. She did not even tell me to let it go or anything, but just listened with compassion until I came to the realization myself that I needed to let it go and get my perspective back.

I have to say, and this is no joke, the second I decided to stop feeding that obsession, that devil, and let go of that item, I felt a flood of relief wash over me, and my creativity spiked and stayed constant through my efforts to get ready for the show.

There are times when that lion, weakened, skinny, and sounding more like an old bull-frog than a lion, still tries to roar at me about it, to get me all hooked into my loss and (oh!) the injustice of it all, but I have come to know that when that happens, I need to do something to feed my heart and soul and keep starving that lion. As a result, I am living happier and staying productive. This is an example of how the process is not instant sometimes, but it is worth it.

How to Feed Your Core Self
The best way to starve your monsters is to, rather than concentrate on starving them (which still feeds them by giving them too much attention), give yourself something you need, enjoy, or crave. It does not need to be something material (though it can be if that does not cause problems for you). In other words, you don't need to run out and spend money on feeding your soul. Here are some ways you can feed your true self and thereby starve those monsters:

1) Make yourself a lovely cup of tea, cappucino, cocoa, coffee, or whatever beverage you can really enjoy and take time to sit somewhere comfortable an savor it.

2) Call a good friend and ask them about their day. Have as much fun enjoying the details of their life as you can, take the opportunity to laugh.

3) Listen to favorite music, sing along, play the radio, play an instrument, learn an instrument.

4) If you are learning a language, practice for a while. If you don't know another language, look into learning one.

5) Get books on your favorite subjects (libraries have tons of them) and pore over them. Read a good novel, let yourself learn and be transported. This is very soul-enriching.

6) Go for a drive, even for 15 minutes. Notice some fun things along the way.

7) Step outside and let the sun shine on you. The sun does actually nourish us physically and mentally. Use SPF lotion if you need to.

8) Go out for a meal, something you really enjoy that fits your budget. Going out and treating yourself sometimes lets your inner person know you are worth it.

9) Pet or play with your household pet. Take it for a walk if it can go for walks.

10) Learn a skill. If you are not used to this, start small and simple. You don't need to invest a fortune. Just think of something you have wanted to try or something you have admired and try your hand at it.

11) Clear clutter. If this is hard for you, I understand. My life is a constant process of clearing clutter, but it really lifts my spirits when I do it. Start with a very small area -- a square foot or two if that works for you. If you don't love it, let it go. Pack up some trash and take it out. Free yourself of objects that weigh you down. Just do that small area on one day if you need to, and then celebrate with something you enjoy. Then pick a new area the next day. If you have trouble with clutter -- above all, don't try to do too much all at once. Pick a small area, set a time limit. Little by little you will free your home and your self from what you do not love. This is very good for your soul.

12) Get a fruit, or vegetable, or bread and cheese that you love but would not normally buy and savor every bite.

13) Meet a friend for coffee.

14) Get a favorite game (even one from childhood) and get together with a friend at home or a coffee shop and play the game. My new favorite is Bananagrams. Easy and fun to play, simple to pack and transport. Appealing to many people.

15) Purchase a soap in a scent you love and use it. Or learn to make soap in scents you love. I am actually going to start doing this.

16) Read something inspirational. Right now I am reading "Self Reliance" by Ralph Waldo Emerson. The language is very proper, but the message packs quite a punch.

17) Pray, but be careful not to make it a prayer of hopelessness. Just speak to your God as you would want to be spoken to, share with Him/Her, make a joke here and there. God enjoys you, let that knowledge be present in your communications.

18) Put a lid on your complaining. Keep it to a bare minimum if you feel you need to complain. Complaints feed monsters. Remember that genuinely speaking to a friend or family about a genuine painful situation and asking for help with something is not complaining. If you let someone know how they can help you (even if it is just listening to a SHORT rant) that is letting them help you instead of making them frustrated. Keep it short. Keep in mind that others do not have limitless energy either. Keep in mind the monsters love to sneak into "innocent" complaints feed off of them.

19) Even if you are not particularly artistic, and even if you are no longer a kid, coloring is fun. I can't think of anyone since I started school as a child who did not like to color. Amazon.Com has lots of interesting coloring books that are intriguing and geared toward adults (though if you would enjoy coloring The Little Mermaid, by all means, do it). You can get coloring books detailing the Seven Wonders of the World, ancient Egypt, costumes worn throughout history, fairies and myths, the Civil War, kings and queens, countries, you name it. Have a blast. Coloring is calming and healthy for your brain. It does not require any special talent, and it is pretty sweet on the budget. If you want to start a search, I have a search link for Amazon.Com listed at the bottom of my blog page. Just type in "coloring books for adults" or "coloring books with (your item of interest such as Egypt)."

These are just some ideas. You may have different ideas of what feeds your soul.

All these help you focus on your own self in helpful ways that nurture you. I hope you will focus your life energy on what really feeds you and thereby starve your monsters.

Oops, a Blushing Moment of Embarrassment

2011-11-23T23:02:00.000-08:00

Okay, I got it wrong. Apparently Cyber Monday is the Monday AFTER Thanksgiving. While I do feel a bit silly for this mistake, in my own defense I have to say that during Thanksgiving week I avoid shopping like the plague and historically have not paid attention to Black Friday deals, etc. I know some people who are avid Black Friday shoppers who revel in the whole "let's get up at midnight and go shopping" thing, and I get a kick out of those people because they are doing something they really enjoy and it is fun to hear of their exploits afterward.

But for me... I live in Minnesota, and if I am actually asleep at midnight, I am not getting up to go out and freeze my buns in the dark and contend with people who are as ready as well-trained marathon runners to mow me over to get to one of the limited-quantity, on-sale-from-midnight-to-2AM televisions. And if I am awake at midnight, I am usually either working on art projects wearing my headphones and singing to tunes (probably to the ire of my upstairs neighbor) or snuggled in a blanky on the sofa, candles burning on the mantle, one cat asleep on my shoulder, the other on my lap, and watching a movie. Again, going out to fight crowds in the middle of a cold night has no appeal for me. I have a wonderful cousin who is considering getting her 79-year-old mother out of bed at midnight so they can use a Macy's $10.00-off coupon that is good during the wee hours. This makes me grin because I do admire my cousin's enthusiasm for this, and I love that her mother will probably do this with her as they are good pals. I can only imagine my own mother's reaction if I were to try and get her to do the same thing. People would buy tickets to that.

All the best for your holiday weekend, all. And it looks like I will be on time for Cyber Monday after all.

Technical Difficulties

2011-11-23T00:13:00.000-08:00

My plans for Cyber Monday did not work as I hoped. I tried to make a display in order to attractively photograph each necklace, but my idea resulted in a rather clumsy fail. Live and learn.

So I am going to shop for other options tomorrow and get some jewelry posted to Etsy later this weekend.

If I don't post to my blog before then, I wish you all a very happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Photos from Rosemount Show

2011-11-19T15:36:00.000-08:00

I had so much fun at this show; the guests were delightful to talk to. All photos are copyright 2011 Abundant Empress, LLC.

My table:

Close-up of my 1920s Art Deco Lady, she took a lot of time, but I love her:

Close-up of my Turquoise Tea necklace. This one is sold, so it's no longer available. This took a while too, and when I was done, I had to uncross my eyes. This is 1.5 inches in diameter:

I don't know if it shows up in the photo too well since I have not figured out how to adjust monitor colors on the computer I am using, but there is a little silver spoon in front of the tea pot. I loved doing this piece, and I am so glad that it was sold to someone who was quite intrigued by it.

A sampling of my other pieces and my Art Deco Lady again. I was on a budget in getting ready for the show, so my displays were made of thrifted picture frames painted with coordinating gold accent around the edges, and deep purple cloth inside the frame (cloth was from scraps gifted by a friend who sews a lot). I really try to make use of what I have, though I will be purchasing a couple of mock-neckline displays to use in photographing individual necklaces when I post to Etsy.

My 4-magnet set (each piece 2 inches in diameter) of fairies corresponding to the 4 seasons. The spring fairy with the rainbow is called Genesis, the India summer fairy is called Udyan (which means "garden" in Hindi), the fall fairy is named Oakley, and the winter fairy is named Silver. All the fairies are based on people I know. They are a 4-piece set and part of my Fairy Folk series:

I will be adding some items to my Etsy shop on Cyber Monday (this coming Monday).

It snowed here today -- first accumulation of the season. The ground, streets, and trees are all white. Pretty.

I have a can of salmon waiting to be used in making supper, so I am going to check out some recipes for it. Have a great rest of your weekend!

An Abundant And Crazy Week

2011-11-13T14:49:00.000-08:00

My apologies for the lack of posts this past week. I did not get my newsletter published this past week either. It appears the network card on my desktop computer went bad and the whole issue has set me behind with the computer-related parts of my business activities. I did sign up for hardware failure coverage when I purchased the computer, so no costs to me, just the inconvenience of having to tote the thing in and pick it up again. One thing about computer protection packages and the like when you make such a purchase for your business: get the protection even if it is spendy. This is no longer just about you and your own personal computer. This is about your business. So pay the extra bucks and get the coverage.

Since I last posted, I participated in two shows. Both shows yielded sales for me, and I am very happy about that. I also reconnected with some artists that I have not seen in a while, and I met and got to know quite a few others.

I do have photos to show, so I promise to do that when I get a chance to upload and edit them this week.

While it was great and very gratifying to make the sales, what is just as gratifying is the number of custom order requests I am getting now. This is really awesome. People appreciated my work -- other artists bought from me -- people whose work I admire. One artist makes very elaborate doll houses and asked if I would be willing to paint little landscape pictures for her to serve as the paintings on the doll house living room walls. Sweet!

I will post more details later this week and I promise photos as well. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Have a lovely and abundant start to your week.

Counting Down

2011-11-02T03:17:00.000-07:00

The Rosemount show is on Saturday, lots still to do. I need to open the dreaded storage locker tomorrow so I can get the tub that holds my show accessories and find my hand truck. Things are pretty neatly stacked in the locker, but it is plum full and piled high. I will need to bring my step ladder with me. I need to start all that pretty early so I can be sure I have everything as I will be handling all the logistics myself, and I still need to put the necklaces together and I hope to paint at least 7 more items and get those completed as well.

G used to help me with packing and transporting stuff, getting it into the venue, etc. Just one more thing I will be doing on my own from now on. I have been working out pretty regularly for the last few weeks so hopefully my knee won't give me too much trouble. And I have learned a valuable lesson from doing other shows that last more than 4 hours; I bring a seat cushion with me. Believe me, it makes the whole day a lot more pleasant.

I have not dealt with or spoken to G in a few weeks now, and I have not really missed him. I have been really busy with my art, though. Making things tends to be very therapeutic anyway, and in this situation, I am doubly glad I have my art.

If I get time I will post some photos before the show, but I am not promising. It seems no matter how well prepared and organized I try to be, things always pop up at the last minute and everything takes longer than I think it will. If I don't get pics posted before the show, I will take some at the show and post them on Monday. I would do it Sunday, but I really need a day off from all this and get out of the studio and the house for a while. Maybe I will grab a Jodi Picoult book and head out to a cafe.

Thanks for hanging in with me even when the posts are sporadic and visually uninteresting.

I am excited about one piece I finished last night. It is modeled on my friend Audrey (who I saw unexpectedly when I was out running errands yesterday) and is the winter fairy in my set of refrigerator / bulliten board magnets. The fairy is named Silver, and she turned out pretty darn well. I only have the spring fairy to finish, have already started that one. She will be modeled on my friend Megan. Have not decided on a name yet.

More Photos of Current Work

2011-10-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Heading into crunch time now to get items created and completed for the show on November 5 at Rosemount High School. I am getting excited about it, and I look forward to seeing some of my other artist/crafter friends there. Apologies for the slight blur in some of these; I was not able to use a tripod for these shots and had to take them while standing on a stool looking down.

All artwork and photos listed below are copyright 2011 Abundant Empress, LLC.

Some items I am working on that are in various stages of adding the cords, ribbons, and hardware. This has been great fun.

Items below are all in some phase of progress. Some need more painting, some need hardware and necklace cord added.

I love painting these little flower pendants.

A custom-order piece made for a friend who has 5 daughters -- done in an old-world folk motif. I love making art that highlights the lives and loves of my clients.

A turtle swims under the sea. My first time painting bubbles.

This one needs some additional hand-painted detail. I love a pretty winter night.

Well, that is a sampling of what I am doing, but it is by no means a complete inventory. I have some surprises up my sleeve.

Abundant Head Starts and a Happy Girl

2011-10-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

Since I already experienced the shock and the bulk of the anger, disappointment, and grief regarding my former husband's drug addiction in May of this year, I was already on the way to healing. When this last straw broke the back of our connection with each other this past week, it hurt and disappointed me again (to a lesser degree than before), but since I had already done so much of the grieving I needed to do, it did not become a huge crisis. I know the road ahead might have some Ex-husband-related bumps, but since I know I did all I could to support him while still keeping my own life and sanity intact, I can side-step or climb over those bumps pretty easily and sans drama. I have a big head start on dealing with this current situation's emotional upsets.

Again, I have enjoyed lovely support from friends both near and far (thankful for the "interwebs") and I am so grateful for each and every message of encouragement either in person, via comments, or via emails. This kind of support is so helpful in healing.

I have also taken time to do some spiritual work and meditation. The "feedback" I receive through this is very positive and full of peace.

My frame of mind is good. I am laughing a lot. I watch comedy shows when I am not working. I eat healthy. I am on a pickled herring kick right now, so I am getting a lot of natural Omega-3, which is good for the brain and helpful for depression. I am getting more projects done for the show coming up on November 5, but I have to keep scrambling on it. I will show some pics in the blog on Wednesday when I take photos for my newsletter.

Here is a song I really enjoy -- "Happy Girl" sung by Martina McBride. Unfortunately, I could not find an official video, so I had to resort to sharing this video of the original song recorded by Ms. McBride, but the images are the video-maker's choices. But it gets the message across. This is kind of the story of my life:

What a Relief

2011-10-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

Shrugged two-point-five anvils from my back today. Feels good. Sometimes, even if you put a lot of effort into to being loyal and hanging in there and being supportive when things take a really bad turn with a spouse with whom you still try to remain friends, you may eventually just have to let go. While I sort-of wish I had walked away from him completely when the truth of his addiction was revealed to me in May, I do admire the fact that I tried to be supportive of his efforts to get sober because I still believed in my commitment to him. But things just got weird and I often felt I had been dropped right in the middle of Crazy Land. And let me just say that a loved one's powerful addiction to a dangerous substance is one butt-ugly thing to deal with (and costly too as you get stuck with the bills he was supposed to be paying but spent the money on the addiction instead). When a situation becomes so punishing and stressful and begins to make of you someone you do not want to be, it is time to shrug it off and move on toward being the person you want to be. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Once you figure out the lesson, go with it and leave behind what has become damaging and toxic to your spirit, no matter how lovely it once was. Untangle, unravel, go around, go through, or climb over, but do what you have to do to move forward. And don't be embarrassed to run if you need to. As Wayne Dyer wisely pointed out, "Go for it now. The future is promised to no one."

From My Newsletter -- Regarding Faith

2011-10-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

Today I am sharing with you an excerpt from an article I wrote for my October 10 newsletter. The newsletter is issued weekly via e-mail and is called Abundant Empress -- News of the Realm. Here is the article excerpt:

...real life does get to me once in a while, and my faith in my future and my dreams wavers. But one thing we need to remember: Faith is not a word. Faith is not even a concept. Faith is a deliberate, purposeful mindset that is strengthened and moved forward by action, usually in the face of adverse circumstances. Sitting back and saying we have faith is all well and good when we are comfortably ensconsed in our homes, our jobs, and life is going well. At those times we are not actually tested. We are coasting.

It is when our comfort and “security” (which I believe does not exist) is pulled out from under us that we really have to work to put one foot in front of the other each day and keep going on a path that we cannot even see ahead of us. We gather our wits and start forging ahead. If we are choosing a total transformation of life, then we actually build our path in front of us as we go. This is not for everyone, certainly not for anyone who must believe they are “secure” at all times. Those of us who choose it may grow faint of heart sometimes as I did last week, but if the dream is strong and our purpose on this earth is clear to us, we get up, dust off, and start building that path again.

I may have those times like I had last week and falter. But believe you me, I am coming back stronger each time. And I know I am on the right path and I am building the right path for me. Know how I know? Because of what it is making of me, that’s how I know. That is the true test of anything, from a marriage to a work environment, to a life purpose: when all is said and done, what does it make of you? Shoot, even though my own marriage ended, I still know it was good for me because it made me a far more loving person than I had been, and I learned about allowing myself to enjoy life. It all had value, and I made sure of that.

I guess that is one of my good qualities: I insist on learning from my experiences, good or bad, and allowing them to impel me forward, and this practice has never failed me. Even surviving this whole loooong economic joke while building my business has been a boon to my spirit and an excellent teacher as to what really matters in life and what doesn’t matter. I think of myself at various past stages of my life and recall what a ninnie I was, a Chicken Little, whining about this, complaining about that, worrying incessantly because someone looked at me wrong or was rude to me. Oh good heavens, I think of it all now and laugh. Compared to the person I was then, I pretty much kick butt and take names now, and interestingly enough, I love so much more strongly, deeply, and appreciatively than I used to. And that love, in addition to being directed toward treasured friends and family, is also directed toward myself on a pretty consistent basis. I revel in that.

So yeah, I have my tough times, but I embrace them all because I know what is being built inside me; I get glimpses every now and then of who I am becoming, what I am actually building in this world, and it is amazing. I am grateful for those glimpses, but it takes faith to know there is actual amazing reality ahead, “the conviction of things not yet seen.” I have gained enough wisdom on this journey to enjoy the process – most of the time… and looking back overall? – Always!

-- excerpt from article in Abundant Empress, News of the Realm, Volume 2, Issue 10

If you would like to subscribe to my newsletter, please send an email to laurel@abundantempress.com.

Also, note that I added another blog to my blogroll -- Down To Earth by a lovely lady named Rhonda.

Crazy Busy

2011-10-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

I am gearing up for the Fall Craft Show at Rosemount High School in two weeks. Things are coming along, but I still have a lot to do. Some of my supplies were a bit delayed coming in so I am having to make up for some lost time.

I have painted several more items and have actually completed making some of the necklaces. They are turning out very nice, and I am really having fun using the tools to attach the cord ends, the clasps, etc. The glue I use to attach the bails to the discs (E6000) is pretty stinky, so I have to open the window when I work with it. Very cool weather has finally made its way to Minnesota, and the room gets a bit chilly.

The work is fun, though, and I will be posting some photos of some of my completed items soon. Can't show everything because then there would be no surprise for the show. Oh, I guess I should say "shows" as in plural. I am going to be selling my work at another smaller, more intimate holiday craft show on November 12 at Coffee Grounds Cafe in St. Paul. It is a lovely, comfortable little place that supports local artists in a big way. Located just south of Larpenteur on Hamline Avenue, it is easy to find, so come see me (and some other really great crafters and artists) on the 12th between 10 AM and 4 PM. You can see some really lovely creations as you sip your fancy coffee, tea, or cocoa and nibble on baked treats. Please introduce yourself if you come to the show. I love getting to know people who love art and craft work.

So I have a ton of work still to do as I had not planned on another show so soon. My blog posting is likely to be very sporadic, but I will have some photos to share.

On another note, I clipped my coupons and organized my shopping trips for later today. I will go work out and then head to the grocery store, then to CVS, then to Walgreen's. Looks like my best deals will actually be coming from Walgreen's, then CVS, and then the grocery store. I think the grocery store needs to step up their game. If it is still in stock, I will be purchasing Suave antiperspirant for 75 cents after combining an in-store special with a manufacturer coupon. I am glad to be going. I have been craving a bowl of raisin bran for a couple of days but have put off going and getting milk until today.

Also, I received my batch of 100 various coupons from the clipping service on eBay. There was a good variety, though I cannot use some of the coupons as the products are not in stores here. But even so, there are plenty that I can use and my savings will add up to many times the seventy-five cents I paid for the shipping and clipping of those coupons. I will be trying V-8 Fusion for the first time (again, combining a store special with a manufacturer coupon) because I know I am not getting enough fruit and veggies in my diet, looking forward to seeing how it tastes.

Abundant Savings.To Quote Richard Pryor, "Yeah, We Bad."

2011-10-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, peeps, since I believe that saving money is as abundant as having money to spend, I have to share my Walgreen's victory with you: Tonight, between shopping at Walgreen's Pharmacy and Walgreen's general merchandise, I saved a whopping $56.30 -- no joke!

I needed to get some Wal-Phed because for my sinuses (Walgreen's generic brand of Sudafed), so before I left for the store, I took a quick look through my coupon organizer, tossed out all the expired coupons (which I just now learned I should not do because apparently, you can donate them to military families to be used for up to 6 months after the expiration date -- I will donate in the future). Then I looked through the coupon flyers from the Sunday paper (from RedPlum, SmartSource, etc) and clipped the ones I thought I could use. Then I went through the Walgreen's Sunday paper ad and found several items on special or discounted with a Walgreen's coupon, so I clipped and circled, packed them all up and went on my way. This whole process took me probably 10 minutes.

When I got to Walgreen's I made directly for the Pharmacy to pick up the Wal-Phed. They have to keep it behind the counter these days because of all the methamphetamine addicts out there. In the Walgreen's ad, I had noticed that they have their generic for Allegra Allergy medicine (called Wal-Fex) on special, Buy One, Get One. Well, this is a deal! So I ended up saving $19.99 at the pharmacy.

Then I made my way through the rest of the store, buying two varieties of Blue Diamond Almonds (two-for-one), three boxes of Ziploc Bags (Walgreen's discount and a manufacturer coupon for a buck off of 3), Six Arm & Hammer invisible solid deoderant/anti-perspirant for 99 cents each (Walgreen's coupon), Clorox Toilet Bowl Cleaner (buy one, get one Walgreen's promotion), four cans of Progresso Soup for $5.00 with Walgreen's coupon PLUS another buck off those four with a manufacturer coupon, and deals on several other very useful and needed items. The total saved when the general merchandise cashier rang up the purchase was $36.31. Add that to my $19.99 savings at the Pharmacy, and the savings came to $56.30. And the money I did spend was all for items I can easily use for meals or household chores or my health and beauty needs (!) well before the items expire.

I was so inspired by my savings that I sat down and did what a friend of mine has been doing for a long time. I ordered coupons from a clipping service on eBay. The service takes the trouble to find the coupons and clip them, and I paid a nominal fee to cover their costs and ship the coupons to me. I purchased a lot of 75 food, drink, and household clipped coupons. Also, I ordered clipped cat litter coupons from another clipping service, which offer huge savings on Arm & Hammer Cat Litter for a very low clipping and shipping fee. I check the clip service's feedback, and I make sure to check the coupon expiration dates before I purchase. I don't see myself going extreme, but if I can whittle my household expenses even lower than just by shopping at somewhere like Aldi, then I am going to go for it in an abundant way, with an attitude of adventure, expectancy, and the knowledge that the money I save on those items can be used to purchase quality supplies for my business or a nice hair-cut and style at a beauty shop and maybe that pair of fabulous brown leather slouch boots I have been eying to go with my long skirts.

I think maybe Alex from Living Without Money would be proud.

Remember that 10 minutes I spent going through my coupons and the Walgreen's flyer before I headed over there to shop? Well, that 10 minutes of effort saved me $56.30. In a way, you could say I "made" $56.30 with 10 minutes of effort. That adds up to an hourly rate of $337.80. So was the 10 minutes worth my time? Most definitely.

By the way, find out about sending recently expired coupons to military families here: http://www.youtube.com/user/TheKrazyCouponLady#p/u/10/jfOWb8_sf6s

Abundantly Weird and Tasty Lunch Treat

2011-10-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

I guess my taste buds must be going through a cellular regeneration or something because I find myself enjoying food items I never would have been willing to try in the past. My new favorite lunch is a sandwich made of toasted Brownberry Double Protein Wide Pan Bread (part of a bulk, on-sale purchase), peanut butter, Aldi-brand Miracle Whip-type salad dressing, lots of chopped green olives with pimentos, and a slice of raw yellow onion.

The way I make it: Toast 2 slices of bread. Spread one slice generously with peanut butter. Spread the other side a bit less generously with the salad dressing. Scoop the chopped green olives with pimentos onto the peanut butter slice, and lay the slice of onion on that. Then put it all together and enjoy with a glass of Wyler's Lemonade-Mix lemonade.

Throw caution to the wind and do it all over with a second sandwich because I am sinful that way.

OMG, so nummy!

I would love to hear about any oddball food combos my readers enjoy.

More Photos of my Art Projects

2011-10-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

Just a few more to show you. Right now I am working on a painting of a child fairy. I will post that when finished. Apologies for any slight blur in the photos; I had to take them holding the camera in my hand while standing on a stool and aiming down at the table. Thanks for visiting!

Peace (1 inch across) will become a necklace

Mary Magdalene (1.5 inches across) will become a necklace

Oakley the Fairy (2 inches across) will become either a collectible tile piece or a brooch

Some Photos of Current Work

2011-10-11T03:35:00.000-07:00

I have been up all night painting again -- I really need to stop that. This time I also wrote the newsletter and sent it out as well.

Anyway, here are some photos of items that will become part of a necklace, bracelet, a bulletin board or refrigerator magnet, etc:

Hearts (1 inch across -- will become a necklace):

Starla the Fairy (1.5 inches across -- will become a necklace):

Hummingbird (1 inch square -- will become a necklace):

There are more, but that is all I am going to show for now. Tired.

Another Treasury List and Making Art Late at Night

2011-10-06T05:43:00.000-07:00

Maybe it is because I want the weather to turn a little cooler (the temperature on Wednesday was 87 degrees -- on October 5), but I am thinking of the comforts we enjoy when the air outside gets chilly. I made a new list on Etsy of items I found very cozy and charming. Enjoy: http://www.etsy.com/treasury/Nzk5Nzk2M3w4MzA1NjAyOTc/comfy-cozy?ref=pr_treasury

By the way, my sleep schedule is all goofed up again. I am getting ready for an art show taking place on November 5, and as usual, I find myself working late into the night. For some reason, I cannot get going at my desk during the day. I take care of business during the day, answer emails, check auctions, look for affordable art supplies, etc, but the actual art work starts between 7 and 8 PM. Then I lose all track of time while working.

In prepping for this show, I first paint lots of small pieces in various colors of blues, purples, sage, cocoa, yellows, and varied reds and oranges. I am venturing into jewelry-making this season in addition to upcycling found pieces. My jewelry will still be hand-painted. That really does seem to be my thing for the time being -- painting. I don't even like to draw much any more because I work faster with painting and am instantly gratified with color. With painting, I can make something fantastical look real, and with drawing it is not the same. I am really enjoying what I am doing with the jewelry, though. It is very detailed work since the area to paint is very small, but I have always had a fascination with tiny objects.

When I was a child, my mom used to purchase little variety packets of very small toys for me and I played with them like there was no tomorrow. They were odd toys, tiny-tiny, like an inch tall or less. I recall a tiny plastic baby who rocked in an orange plastic rocking chair. I could actually remove her from the tiny rocker, and that was cool. There were tiny little animals and very small cowboys and horses. I LOVED those tiny plastic horses.

I sneaked one in my pocket to church one time, and when Mom looked at me askance during service, I acted like I just happened to find it in my coat -- like it was a tiny miracle -- pocket lint becoming a toy horse! I guess since she figured I inadvertently brought the toy to church, she allowed me to keep it. I should have pretended to find miracle cookies in my pockets. I spent the entire sermon that day running that little horse up and down Mom's coat sleeve. Her coat had a grey fur cuff, so the horse had to run around in that too. I cannot believe she let me do that. Mom was pretty strict about my behavior in church. Normally, when ever I fidgeted, she leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "Do you want to go out to the car?"

I had to think about that. I was not sure what was actually in the car, or whether I might be allowed to sit in the car by myself to fidget and sing loudly to my heart's content until church was over and the rest of the family came out to the car. Judging from Mom's grip on my arm, though, I figured I might not be allowed to play in the car, that, in fact, she might just come to the car with me, and I might not like how that turned out. So I always settled down and never did find out exactly what it was that awaited me in the car had I chosen that option.

Back to the present: So I start painting late at night, and then when I finish it is often 3 or 4 AM. While painting is a very centering activity that shuts out the daily noise in my mind and engages me fully, it is NOT a calming activity. For me, painting is like being tethered to a burning flame. The flame is beautiful, enchanting, warm, but the potential for a big flare-up is there, so I dance carefully with it, and I cannot quite get loose until it is done dancing with me. After I finish painting for the night (morning), I have a very hard time settling down. Music helps some. Writing helps a little, even if it is only making a list of to-dos. Surprisingly, reading after making art does not help at all. Normally reading a good book is my Balm of Gilead, but it only gets me more wired after I paint -- perhaps because the unfolding of a story is a process of creation just as painting is. Even if I did not write the book, the story is still being created in my head as I read it and assign my own perceptions to it.

So here I am updating my blog, listening to music, and making Etsy lists. Well, I do have to function some time today, so I think I will see if I am settled enough where I can grab some shut-eye now.

I Know an Empress Is Not Supposed to Complain, But...

2011-10-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

Goodness, I hate leaf blowers! The whole neighborhood is roaring. What ever happened to raking?

Sharing With You Some Treasures I Enjoy

2011-10-03T02:51:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I made my first treasury list on Etsy. A treasury list is made up of photos of the work of various artists on Etsy that one enjoys. In this case that one is me, and this is my list. I chose to focus on items that are colorful, playful, wild, and happy. You can view the list here: http://www.etsy.com/treasury/Nzk5Nzk2M3w4MTUzNTM1NjY/colorfulplayful-wild-and-happy

If you click on each photo in the list, you will see the full-size Etsy ad for that item. I hope you enjoy these items as they very much reflect art and artists I admire.

Some Project Pics

2011-10-03T02:42:00.000-07:00

These are pictures of a project I finished some time back, but I discovered I still need to put another coat of sealer on. I will be listing this to my Etsy store on Tuesday after the sealer has dried.

This item is called "Remote Access." I picked up the plain pale (bland) wooden piece at a thrift shop with the intention to transform it via hand-painting. It was originally intended to hold various media remote controls (and certainly it can still be used for that purpose). I love vibrant colors.:

Here are some detail photos of the painted designs on the sides:

So, yes, this piece was intended to hold remote control devices, but since I enjoy finding more than one function for a piece, I intended the finished product to be useful on a bedside table or an end table since it works very well to hold the objects we use daily. Here it holds my book, my glasses case, my iPhone, and my hair clip:

Such a Gift!

2011-09-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

Etsy artist ArteTeer has included my "Gentle Green Man" shelf in her Eco-Friendly Treasury. You can see the items in her treasury here: http://www.etsy.com/treasury/OTQxNDY2M3w3ODg3NjM2NzY/eco-friendly

My "Gentle Green Man" shelf (art and photograph (c) 2011 Abundant Empress, LLC):

Thanks to ArteTeer!

Also, I am getting some good action on 4 Men's XL-XXL Renaissance shirts I am selling on eBay. Check them out if you want to read the details. You can look up my eBay ID "abundant_empress" under the community tab on eBay's home page.

Abundant Friendship

2011-09-28T18:19:00.000-07:00

I am finally over the flu. Now I can think about getting a flu shot. Jeez.

I went out for supper to a Mongolian barbecue with my friend J. J's mother Mary was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer just weeks ago, and she is rapidly moving toward taking her leave of this world. I have not seen Mary in person for a couple of years, but I have fun memories of her, my favorite being how when ever J and I came through the front door of her home, we found her sitting on the floor with her back propped against the front of an easy chair, her playing cards spread in front of her in a game of Solitaire. She was in her 80s then and sat on the floor like a nimble teenager. Built like a little bird with a shock of curly thick gray hair and bright blue eyes, she could often be found walking to her favorite stores about a mile from her home until just a few months ago. Mary also walked to the bus stop where the big casino bus carried passengers to a suburb on the outskirts to play Bingo. In fact, she played a round of Bingo just about a week ago.

J has been dealing with the recent events as best he can. The family is a large one, lots of brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews, and many have come into town from all over to visit. As with all family crises, the stress of the impending loss has caused friction between family members and it gets to be a lot for J to handle at times, but he is holding up. He is close to his mom; he has always been the one who can make her laugh and shock her and make her laugh at being shocked all at once. He knows Mary is getting tired, and he knows her time is short. J spoke to his father who passed on about 25 years ago and asked his father to come bring his mother to the next world when the time comes. That is one of the most loving things I have ever heard.

After supper as we stood by our cars to say goodbye, I wrote a note to Mary for J to give to her when he went to see her afterward. In it, I told her how much I have enjoyed our encounters over the years and how grateful I am that she raised such a good son as J who, over the 30 years I have known him, has grown into more than just a best friend, but a soul mate as well. I am so grateful for his presence in my life, and I just wanted Mary to know that.

I wish Mary and all her loved ones peace, grace, and comfort as they travel this last journey together.

Abundant Stink Prevention, Obsession vs. Abundance, & a Blog I Enjoy

2011-09-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

I woke way early this morning coughing myself silly. I took some Ibuprofen for the sore throat (caused in part, I think, from all this blasted coughing), and then I could not sleep. Because the throat feels better for now, I am suddenly struck by huge hunger pangs and I am considering making myself a smoked bratwurst with relish and yellow mustard on a whole-wheat bun. Not your breakfast of choice, you say? When I was younger, I worked nights for several years. Anyone I have ever talked to who has worked nights for more than a year straight is able to eat anything at any hour of the day for the rest of their lives. I am no exception. And I love brats, especially smoked brats bought on sale. The savings just add to the flavor.

Speaking of savings, during my one excursion outside the home this week (to the Cub grocery store to re-stock the pantry), I was able to pick up 4 of the 2.3 ounce sized Lady Speed Stick deodorant for $1.84 each. That is five cents less per item than I pay for Aldi-brand deodorant at Aldi. Cub had a good price on Speed Stick that day, and I had two "75-cents-off-of-two" coupons. I don't usually purchase my deodorant, shampoo, toilet paper, etc, at the main grocery store because I can get those things less expensively elsewhere, so I was pretty much in sticker shock when I saw that new Secret deodorant on the shelf selling for $3.99! Good heavens.

I'll never be an Extreme Couponer like the people on that wacky television show (the ones who have enough deodorant to last for 100 years), mostly because I don't care to spend 30 hours per week clipping and sorting coupons, and because I think that to be so extreme, you really have to be obsessed. Obsession, to me, is not an abundance-based mindset. Obsession is usually driven by an underlying fear. Obsession is certainly not faith. Don't get me wrong -- I like to have a stocked pantry. I like knowing I don't have to go buy soap and deodorant and toothpaste more than a few times per year. I like stocking up on some products now before inflation progresses even further. But I purchase what I know I will use before items expire and their chemistry changes due to age.

This is one thing I always wonder about all these products Extreme Couponers keep warehoused in huge quantities in their garages, basements, or spare bedrooms: Some of these items are medicinal, such as cold medicine, aspirin, Ibuprofen, cough syrup, and vitamins. Over time, these items do change chemically. If you purchase a medicinal item or vitamins, you will see an expiration date on the package. The reason these items have an expiration date (even though they are "non-perishable") is because their chemical properties begin to break down after a certain length of time. Now, I have to wonder what average person or family could actually use up 1,000 bottles of 500-count Ibuprofen within a few months following their expire dates. I tend to use Ibuprofen pretty regularly because I am a wimp when it comes to pain, but even if I were 20 of me, I could not hope to use it up. So what risks are people taking when they use a medicinal product that has been expired for five years? I can't think that practice would be risk-free, and I personally don't want to find out.

Even stick deodorant dries out and becomes like rock if it is not used up within a reasonable amount of time. Case in point: Ever found an old deodorant stick in your luggage that you did not recall was there? You think to yourself, "yay, extra deodorant!" and then you try to use it and it scrapes along your skin, clunks out of the push-up container in one stoney mass, and breaks into 400 pieces of white chunks on the floor. Is that savings? No, it is waste. Nothing lasts forever. I think we lose sight of that sometimes.

I definitely try to save on the things I need, want, and can use before they go bad. Obtaining what you know you need, want, and will use falls right in line with abundant living. Living abundantly requires personal responsibility. Abundance is not based in fear. Abundance is not hoarding; in fact, abundance is about flow. I don't want 5,000 products stacked in neat rows on shelves if they will never serve me and the life I live, and I certainly don't want them if they will go to waste. If they are there just so I can go look at my ~~hoard~~, er, I mean supply and make myself feel good by staring at it all, arranging, and rearranging it like it is a big dollhouse, then something is out of whack.

Unless you have a huge family or several people you take care of in your home, or you are planning to donate half of what you obtain through Extreme Couponing to people who need and will use it, why would you risk wasting so much? In addition, if we really do care about those around us, if we really do care about the world we live in and intelligent use of resources, why would we allow such quantities to sit unused and possibly go to waste?

I do know that there are groups of people who, for religious or other reasons, believe in having a year's supply of food and necessities on hand for preparedness in cases of catastrophic events. This is not a bad thing since we have all seen what natural disasters (like Hurricane Irene) can do. A year's supply can be reasonable, especially if you store items that will last for at least a year; however, storing 3,000 bottles of air freshener does not quite fit that role of preparedness.

Well, there is my little rant on obsession vs. abundance. I get ranty every once in a while.

By the way, in case you have ever noticed that I don't list many blogs in my blog role, I just wanted to mention that I have added one today. I very much enjoy reading Alex M.'s "Living Without Money" blog. I find Alex's outlook to be at once frugal and abundant, playful and thoughtful. Check it out -- here is the link: http://livingwithoutmoney.blogspot.com/

Enjoy your day. I am going to fix myself that smoked bratwurst now with lots of yellow mustard. Yellow mustard is to me what donuts are to Homer Simpson.

Sorry for the Boring Entry

2011-09-18T13:53:00.000-07:00

I am still sick -- I mean stay-in-bed sick. This has been going on for a week now. I am guessing I don't have a cold; this must be some sort of flu that beat me before I had a chance to get my flu shot this year. Every time I start to feel better I go down again. I escaped the house for a little while yesterday to stock up on some groceries since I had somewhat depleted my pantry. I felt okay while shopping, but when I got home, it all came 'round again.

I will pick up with the blog again once I am up and around on a more consistent basis.

Sometimes Abundance Means Finding a Good Lo Mein Recipe

2011-09-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

I am feeling a little better today. The sore throat is still bugging me, but the hot chai tea I am sipping is very soothing.

All week I have been craving Beef Lo Mein, but I have not felt well enough to drive; there are no Asian restaurants that deliver around here, and I have not wanted to spread my cold germs by going into a restaurant. Plus, I prefer not to spend so much money on restaurant food. I have been eating okay -- leftover chili, tangerines, yogurt, ravioli, chicken noodle soup, but none of it really fits the need when all I want is Beef Lo Mein.

My cold-addled brain must be starting to work again, though, because I got the bright idea of looking up a Beef Lo Mein recipe on Allrecipes.com (http://www.allrecipes.com). The following recipe looks good and easy. ** Note: there appears to be a misprint in the amount of soy sauce listed. This recipe says to use 1/4 tsp, but most of the reviewers who cooked the recipe said it should be 1/4 cup. **

I will be doubling this recipe since I love having leftovers. Also, I have everything on hand in my pantry and freezer except for the frozen stir-fry veggies, so I will use fresh celery, fresh carrots, and a fresh onion that needs to be used up in addition to a partial bag of frozen broccoli florets. I already took a pound of Aldi's ground beef out of the freezer and placed in the fridge to thaw so I can make this for supper tomorrow night. I can't wait. I love that I found a good recipe (according to the reviewers who used the appropriate amount of soy sauce) and that I saved money and I have all the ingredients I want to use on hand. To me, this is truly abundance.

Here is the link to the recipe: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/ground-beef-lo-mein/detail.aspx

Thought I Had Turned A Corner

2011-09-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

It seems I have not turned a corner after all, still running fevers, head and chest congested, and almost no stamina, falling asleep all the time. I am also frustrated because there is so much I want to be doing right now.

Okay, I don't want to bum my readers out completely, so I will share a bit of wisdom I am learning through this: When you are ill, try to suspend all judgements as much as you can. If you start to put yourself down and get all worried about not being able to do what you need to do right now, then you use valuable energy that could be going toward healing yourself. At a time like this, as much as is possible, just rest and try to remember to drink a lot and eat nutritious food, and sleep. Don't add to your current burden by berating yourself. When you start to feel better, start taking action. But go easy on yourself while you are ill.

Some Sniffles and Some Selling

2011-09-13T18:08:00.000-07:00

I took my mother to the grocery store last Wednesday. After we got back to her place, she mentioned she had a tickle in her throat since the previous day and she had been coughing. I knew then what would happen. Sure enough, by that evening she was ill with a full-blown cold. By Sunday I was also down for the count.

I feel like I am starting to turn a corner now. I have spent most of the last two days sleeping, and I think that helps tremendously. I have also been careful to drink a lot of clear fluids and eat an orange once per day. I may sound like an old wife here, but all that stuff really makes a difference in how quickly I get over an illness.

Tonight I listed a couple of items on eBay -- a beautiful, never-worn men's XL Renaissance King or Prince costume and a Knight's tabbard in time for Halloween. I used to sell on eBay frequently several years ago and did pretty well at it. At that time I was just unloading items that I no longer used or had never found a use for. I made pretty good bank at it. I have tried selling more recently, but over the last couple of years, sales have been a bit slow due to the recession, and eBay has increased its fees to sellers. It has been more difficult to sell for a price that would pay for the expenses of selling and shipping. But I am trying it again.

Here is a photo of the costume I listed --

I also listed a red and black tabbard (open-sided garment worn by knights):

If these items interest you at all, go to eBay.com and take a peek at the listing under abundant_empress. Remember to use the underscore.

Make It Count

2011-09-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

Decadent Yet Healthy (Sort-of)

2011-09-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

Ever get a hankering for something chocolatey and rich but not totally without nutritional value? So do I. Though I am a complete chocolate fiend, I have also lost most of my desire for total sweetness and gooey treats. I like substance now, things that don't leave me crashing from a sugar high afterward.

One of my solutions is this:
I always keep a varied supply of whole-grain or granola bars in my home. When I have a coupon for a good discount, I pick up the Nature Valley Granola Bar variety pack (or a box of all cinnamon kind if I can find it). If I have no coupon, then I pick up the store brand granola bars which I have usually found to be good as well (though Nature Valley cinnamon remains my favorite). The whole grain is far better for me than the marshmallow, caramel, or nougat makings of most candy bars. If a whole-grain bar contains nuts, so much the better -- for me. I realize that people with allergies to nuts need to be careful about that. If you do have allergies to any kind of nuts, you should read the ingredients on the bar package before consuming a granola or whole-grain bar to find out whether the bars contain any nuts or nut products.

So when I really crave a treat but don't want to reach for cookies or candies, I reach for a packet of whole-grain or granola bars (they usually come two to a pack) and place the bars on a fancy little plate. Then I open a jar of store-brand creamy peanut butter and spread some of that on each whole grain bar (generously since I love peanut butter). Note: if you are allergic to peanuts, you might try a thin layer of marshmallow whip or perhaps a bit of raspberry or other fruit jam.

On top of the peanut butter, I carefully place semi-sweet chocolate chips. I do take care in placing them evenly (and generously because, hey, I love chocolate). Then I eat this delectable concoction, and it always satisfies that craving for both dessert and nutrition. It is lovely with a cup of creamy coffee or tea and really does feel like a fancy treat. It's a way to enjoy a bit of chocolatey abundance without having to get out all the baking supplies or having to settle for a too-sweet candy bar. To make it even more fancy, you might try sprinkling the entire thing with a bit of toasted coconut, a small dollop of a rich fruit jam (I like raspberry), shaved nuts (again, if you are not allergic), confectioner's sugar, or any number of other toppings you think might lend to the goodness of this treat.

What do you like to make when you have a craving for a dessert-type treat that still has health value? Please feel free to comment.

Abundance in Letting Go -- a Divine Paradox

2011-08-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

MORE STUFF? Gaaahhhhh!
Those of you who read my blog with some regularity already know I am on a perpetual mission to bring order and beauty to my home and my life. Over this past year, it seems that when ever I get things somewhat settled and orderly, something happens to either bring more stuff into the home or to toss my orderly solutions willy-nilly. The most recent something was bringing home items from the cabin that I wanted to keep. Among these items were an unusual amber table lamp that I love, an old wooden end table that I plan to paint into something glorious, a shabby-chic round table in need of TLC, a couple of electric fans, a ceiling fan that never got installed in the cabin bedroom (and for which I suspect some of the parts are now missing), and a mountain of bed linens and towels which are stored in those vacuum-seal bags (stuffed to just beyond capacity). A lovely floor lamp and the bed are the next things to bring home, but that will happen another time and when I have a trailer and a few brawny men to help.

Because I want to keep these particular items, and because currently they sit all chaos-like in the living room or in the corner of the bedroom, I have begun to get back to purging stuff I no longer want or need. Yesterday I dropped five paper grocery bags stuffed with donations to Goodwill, and I have a lot more to go. Here is a photo of just a few of those donated items (the only reason I am donating The Freshman DVD is because somehow I ended up with two copies):

By the way, it is a good idea these days to take photos of all your donated items each year in addition to making a list, especially if you are a business owner -- good to have proof for that big old chompster, the IRS.

Since I am purging my stuff pretty much all the time, you might be asking what is possibly left to purge. I often wonder that myself, but the last few days have made clear that purging unneeded items is sort of like tending a garden. You have to keep clearing the weeds to get the good yield from the crops or flowers. I thought of that comparison because my sissy Roxy is bringing me tomatoes and cucumbers from her garden this weekend - yum!

Living abundantly REQUIRES letting go!
In my gentle efforts to live more abundantly (because abundance is a kind and gentle force), I have discovered something. Abundance without purging is not abundance; it is a mess, a clogged mess that saps energy from the soul, a mess that holds the mind prisoner. Believe it or not, a part of us is attached to everything we own. Somewhere, even if it be in the deep unconscious recesses of our minds, each unneeded, unheeded, and unwanted item clings to us and uses our inner resources. Even neat stacks or organized boxes or drawers of unneeded, outlived items pull us down in some way, and items that we no longer love (or never did love) eat at our hearts bit by bit, causing a certain weariness in us.

Though this week has marked the third time this year that I have gone through my clothes closet and drawers to clear things out, and I thought I had been ruthless the previous times, I found items to fill four bags This time, instead of thinking I should hang on to several items such as some long-sleeved pullover tops for winter because "I am not currently working a regular job and I need to hang onto everything I have in case I need it," I removed them from the closet and bagged them up. I used to wear these pullovers at my old job. Since leaving that job, the tops have remained unused in the closet. When choosing what to wear in the mornings since then, I have always passed them over. Even looking at them made me feel ill at ease -- not sad, but not comfortable, like they belonged to someone else. In truth, they did belong to someone else -- to that woman I used to be over two years ago, the woman who is a stranger to me now. A new me has moved into my life; the old me needs to move out. And just so you know, I am not left without enough tops to wear. Part of my recent abundant blessings has been to find several tops at the thrift stores in colors and patterns I love, plenty to wear this winter.

Embracing new life
I recognized that in bagging up and donating those older tops, which were perfectly good and stylish, still fit me, and were even in colors I liked, but always made me feel odd and bewildered when I looked at them, I was allowing more of the old muck of life to flow away from me so that I can welcome and embrace new possibilities and opportunities. I recall reading once several years ago about a particular kind of Japanese psychotherapy that was action-based rather than talk-based. When a patient went to the therapist who practiced this method and talked about his problems, the therapist directed the patient to perform an action such as "go clean your closets" rather than dispensing advice. Often the patients found psychological healing through performing those assigned tasks. Taking concrete physical action in the mundane world sends a powerful message to the spiritual world, and opened channels of creativity, healing, guidance, and peace are quite often the result.

When we come up with reasons for avoiding such necessary tasks (and I am the QUEEN of procrastination at times like this), it might not be because we don't have the time, or we get overwhelmed, or we just don't feel like it. Often, I think it is an unacknowledged fear of actually relinquishing items from our lives that no longer serve their purpose, that no longer fit us because we have changed. Maybe facing the fact that we have changed or are being called to change scares us. I think sometimes we are afraid to look at and touch things that we know we need to purge from our lives because we indeed will be letting go part of ourselves, a part that is really no longer us. It is a daunting task, and it can be a pain in the neck and even in our hearts. Once it is completed and the items have either been properly discarded or donated to someone who will love to receive them, the pain and the headache of dealing with them drops away like a shrugged-off jacket, as do those weird feelings of discomfort we had when they were still hanging around. Life instantly feels lighter. Energy levels lift.

I am relieved and happy that I no longer have to purposely overlook those particular pullovers when I am deciding what to wear for the day or when I am in my closet putting clothing away. I no longer have that icky ping inside when I encounter them. I am finally realizing that I am new. I am no longer the woman who wore those things. I am not afraid to be a whole new person any more, and it does not scare me to no longer be who I was. A sense of well-being has replaced those fears, a sense that this new life is indeed worth embracing and I don't have to hold back any more.

In closing, I just wanted to show you some photos of the items I brought home from the cabin. I will be getting rid of / rearranging some of my current household items to make places for these once I have spruced them up a bit:

The goofy lamp that I love

The table I will paint (will post pics of the finished product)

The shabby-chic table, which will also be getting a makeover

Lovely Look Back and the Folly of Conjuring Inaccurate Meanings

2011-08-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

My sisters and I all enjoy the music of Peter, Paul, and Mary. The song in these videos remains one of my very favorite songs of my lifetime.

It is my pleasure to bring you these two videos from YouTube. In the first, the song simply sung -- a lovely look back at the group in days gone by, with the added sweetness of black-and-white film, and Mary Travers' beautifully contained dancing energy. I get a sense that she had to quiet her movements purposely because the music carried her so strongly that she may have twirled across the stage otherwise. I adore the sound of their feet tapping when the music begins. Enjoy:

Unfortunately, several years later, a rumor spread around the country that this song was a thinly-veiled description of the illicit use of a certain smoke-able "herbal" narcotic. This rumor was especially prominent in programs set up in fundamentalist churches to combat "evil" rock music. As an impressionable teenager, I was very active in Christian activities with my friends through a couple of different fundamentalist churches. I was born again. I am not proud to say that I was one of those born-agains who, instead of viewing the world with love and compassion and valuing knowledge and personal strength to actually help people to help themselves, I was often narrow-minded, critical and judgmental. I recall listening to a taped program by some speaker-crusader against demonic music who said that even classical music was bad and people should be wary of it. Yeah, man, Bach, Handel, Grieg, Mozart...what a bunch of twisted, subversive, dangerous dudes -- NOT!

This type of thinking (lumping everything not specifically associated with Christianity (or any other faith) and making it "BAD") is of course, dangerous in itself, and IT REMOVES JOY FROM LIVING. I recall my sister Roxy trying to talk to me at the time, to get me to analyze my thinking and recognize that perhaps some of the stuff I was being fed by those fundamentalist church ideologies with their sometimes-wacky speakers was flat out false and even harmful. But I was devoted to my judgments and my boxed-in views and fears, and I refused to see reason until I reached an age where I had to analyze my beliefs about many things and realize that many of them were not only wrong, but quite damaging to my well-being.

I no longer believe as I once did. I still value my core Christian beliefs based in love. But my knowledge and views have expanded to embrace many ideas, tenets, and habits that do not come from traditionally Christian ideology. Even so, the amazing thing is that they ALL support and even lend increased value and meaning to those core Christian beliefs; they richly illustrate for me what living by FAITH is all about, what LOVE really is, and what love is not. I admire people (many of them my friends still) who are devoted to their Christian faith, and I admire the way they are devoted -- with openness and love and the way they genuinely walk their talk and have no interest in condemning others. I also value what I believe and how I came to my beliefs. They were born from my own experiences of life, from people who have touched my soul in a profound way, and from my own partnership with my God in building my dreams and making them real.

What others believe and experience is up to them. I respect them enough to leave that to them. What I believe (and know in my heart because it WORKS for me) is up to me and my God. Now I tend to wonder what those who try to control the beliefs of others are hiding themselves.

*** People tend to flurry outward, finding all kinds of things that need to be corrected in others when they have something inside themselves they are not dealing with. Keep an eye out for that next time someone judges you or wants to bend you to think and believe the way they do -- what are they running from in their own life so fearfully that they need to try and change yours without your asking them to do so?***

I have learned now that it is not healthy, helpful, or loving to conjure up tales about things like subversive meanings in folk songs. It is not healthy, helpful, or loving to constantly live conjuring up (or embellishing) tales about other people or events when we are really not involved. We may love to meddle and crave the drama factor and all the hullabaloo these tales can stir up, but we have no business perpetuating those half-truths laced with out-and-out falsehoods. I had to learn that myself over the years of my life and let me just say that I enjoy life a lot more now than I did when I was seeking (and finding) negative stuff around every corner. Remember, "he who seeks, finds." That is true in both the true and joyful aspects of life and in the false and sorrowful aspects of life. You do find what you seek, so be mindful of what you are looking for.

That having been said, I am delighted to share with you this YouTube video of the same song, with a few added changes, performed proudly, which sets us straight on the validity of that rumor; there was no validity, but there was damage done by perpetuating it. I realize it is late, but I wish to extend my apologies to Peter Yarrow, Paul Stookey, and the late Mary Travers for having suspected this song of being somehow evil instead of delightful, fun, and comforting. You do find what you seek; I hope you seek joy, love, and faith.

Mystery Solved - Camera Found! -- And some spritely fairy photos

2011-08-18T15:55:00.000-07:00

I was beginning to think that tiny trickster gnomes or skinny, green, bug-eyed aliens must have slipped into my home between the window frames and walls or down through the chimney and secreted my poor old digital camera away to some distant foggy realm. As I ran out of places to search, I was thinking I might have to just admit defeat soon. Today, though, when I walked into the studio, I took one more look at the small extra office chair that sits in the corner. It is a black chair, nothing fancy, just a back and a seat and the spider-wheel pedestal it sits upon. Currently the seat holds some worksheets I have been printing out. I had checked there a dozen times already, but something made me lift those papers one more time to see if the camera hid underneath. It did not. It was not there, but I did notice that the dark little case had gotten wedged in the space between that back and the seat. There it was. Victory!

There will be photos a-coming of some items around my home that make me feel a sense of pleasure and abundance, that pique my imagination and bring me closer to that Empress energy.

In the meantime, here are a couple of photos from my recent photo shoot with fellow local artist Megan Rheault. By the way, I have a link to Megan's "PixieGirlStudios" blog over to the right if you want to visit her there. I hired Megan to model for me as I wanted to take pictures that would serve as inspiration for fairies, medieval princesses, and mythical beings. Megan has an otherworldly quality about her that sparks all kinds of creative images in my mind's eye. These photos serve as the references for me on body form, shape, and facial expression. The clothes she is wearing are simply for reference and will likely be very different in my finished art projects. All photos are property of Abundant Empress, LLC. Please ask permission if you wish to copy them.

There are about 180 more photos from this shoot that I have not yet finished editing, but I am excited to see how they all turn out. Megan was a great sport.

One of the most abundant and lovely aspects of this new life of mine beyond the corporate I.T. world is the wonderful people I have met, and Megan has become like this really fun, creative, and delightful part of my own heart. I enjoy her company a great deal, and am grateful for her generous and insightful ways.

The Waiting for Something to Turn Up

2011-08-14T18:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I did go out and purchase that extra flat sheet and will just use that as sort-of a bedspread until I get it made into a duvet. Or maybe I will just continue to use it as is since it looks pretty good.

I want to share pictures with you all of the new look, but my digital camera has gone missing. I know it is in the house because I used it on Wednesday to upload some photos from the photo shoot I did with Megan of Pixiegirlstudios -- http://www.pixiegirlstudios.blogspot.com. She was a lovely model, has that pixie look about her and the photo shoot went well. Her husband has agreed to do some posing for me as well since he has a kind of ethereal look as well -- like someone you would meet in a book by Rowling or Brooks.

I was working on uploading and editing photos quite late on Wednesday night, and I do recall putting the camera back in its case and putting it away, KNOWING FULL WELL that I was NOT returning it to its proper place in my home. My last bleary thought before I went to bed was, "I probably should have put that where it belongs." Truer words were never spoken because now I have no clue where it is. And of course I was so tired when I did put it "away" that I have no memory of where I did it.

I have a camera on my phone, but the pics it takes are not great. So while I am waiting for the digital camera to turn up, I am going through a ton of old stuff in drawers and closets, tossing stuff in the trash and getting other stuff ready for donation at Goodwill. I am actually looking for the camera when I do this, but so far it eludes me. Looking for it is helping me get a lot done around the house though.

It bugs me that it is lurking somewhere though, and the more I look, the more uncertain I feel about ever finding it. For now, I am going through some art supplies I purchased yesterday and then I will make a late supper of a ham sandwich and my jazzed-up tomato soup and watch a couple of re-run episodes of Lost. I am at the part where Juliette has been left behind by "her people" and has joined the core cast on their part of the island. It will help to get my mind off the missing camera so my subconscious can work on the problem. It will turn up, but in the meantime, I am a tiny bit miffed and photo-less.

Making Choices from an Abundance Perspective Rather than from Lack

2011-08-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

I have been advised that because I run a business called Abundant Empress, LLC, I am my business. I am being called upon to live as The Abundant Empress. I have to embody the ideals and qualities I strive for in my business. This makes total sense, and I don't know why I never thought of it before on my own.

My perspective over the past few years has been one of frugality. I am not downing frugality and I am not going to suddenly throw caution to the wind and throw money willy-nilly hither and yon. Frugality itself has to do with wise use of resources rather than wasting them, of being mindful of finances and spending and of building something worthwhile in one's life because of that mindfulness.

I don't think frugality is about lack, and unfortunately, I have caught my perspective shifting in that direction. I have found myself saying often lately, "I can't afford that." That statement automatically slants perspective in a negative way. Honestly, though, it is not the case that I can't afford whatever it is. It is that I choose one option over the other. The proper (and more positive and empowering) message to tell myself is, "I choose this over that," or "I choose what is best for my own achievement of my goals." This directs the subconscious to stay on an even keel because it senses that I am in control of my own life. The subconscious can then effectively set about handling the business it handles best: solving problems. When I consciously choose what I prefer over what I do not prefer (and sometimes that involves getting new tires for the car rather than buying all new living room furniture) and speak to myself in such a way where I understand I am making a wise decision regarding my life rather than moping about what I lack, I feel more confident, powerful, and capable of purchasing the new living room furniture at some later point.

If I want to become that Abundant Empress, then I need to start acting like one rather than letting worry get the best of me. I need to start bringing into my life and environment things that make me feel a sense of abundance. Staying in a stuck place of being surrounded by what does not work for me, please me, or feel right is no longer an option.

Today I made an abundant decision for myself. The sheets on the bed were worn, and the elastic around the fitted sheet had given out. These were also the sheets used when Galahad was in the home. They were great sheets, high thread count, pretty color, smooth to the touch, but worn and because they had been a part of the past with Galahad, they needed to go. They would not have done anyone any good at the thrift store even after being washed because of all the useless elastic, so I pitched them.

To replace them, I splurged a bit on new, deep red, 500 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets at Wal-Mart for $69.99. Now I know Wal-Mart is not exactly the finest home boutique, but I looked at several more expensive options online and did not find anything in a color I liked as much with that high thread count. I love sheets that have a thread count so high, the sheets always feel cool to the touch. I also purchased two lovely accent pillows with exotic designs that reminded me of India. And I purchased two new sleeping pillows and pitched the old ones as they were held together on the ends with safety pins. I kept my current duvet cover because it matches everything well, but I know that before too long, I will be purchasing a couple of the really pretty India design flat sheets to make a duvet cover of my own.

All together, I spent $117.00 of money I brought along for my recent trip and did not spend at that time. And I was so happy when I made that bed that I had to stop half way just to lie down and feel luxurious on the sheets. The kitties lounged with me for a while, seems they like quality bed linens as well. It was an abundant moment, and I know I will be sleeping well tonight.

Mending the Holes in Life

2011-08-04T15:36:00.000-07:00

They sat on a shelf in the bedroom closet -- neglected, waiting -- two perfectly good pairs of comfy black yoga pants (well, perfectly good except for the hole in each pair). My cat Samhain, having been taken from her mama cat at 5 weeks (instead of the recommended 8 weeks), has a habit of sucking on any items of my clothing she finds unattended. In a frustrated effort to nurse, she sucks on a part of an item of clothing until it gets all soppy, and then she chews a hole in it. Samhain is 8 years old now and still does this. She rarely ever did this to Galahad's clothing, and I think that is because she sees me as her mama. I am the one who sat in the bathroom with her late at night when she was a kitten, rocking her and teaching her to recognize her name. I am the one who taught her to do her business in the litter box (and to bury it completely). To this day Samhain tries to nurse at my neck. It was not me who took her from her mama too early; it was a friend of mine who wanted to get rid of the kittens from her barn. Several items of my clothing have made the ultimate sacrifice as a result. While I learned long ago to keep all clothing in the bedroom closet and to keep Samhain OUT of the bedroom closet, accidents happen. And so those two pair of pants lay waiting with their respective holes and my unfulfilled intention to mend them for months... and months.

It isn't that I didn't notice them every time I went into the closet. I put energy into NOT noticing them, into ignoring my own desire to make them useful again, into actively neglecting them. So I actually created an energy drain on myself by stubbornly refusing to mend pants that I wanted to wear. Each pair simply had a small hole in a leg, not difficult to patch. I often purchase old t-shirts at Goodwill to wear when I paint, for sleeping, or to use in mending; I also have a sewing box with plenty of thread, needles and scissors. It isn't like I didn't have the equipment to do the job.

Still, I actively avoided doing something that would make me happy and provide me with more usable clothing. Avoidance and procrastination are such thieves -- thieves of energy, joy, a sense of accomplishment, and of the sense of peace that comes from living a life where the details are handled or being handled.

I have come to this knowledge later in life than many, but I know there are people out there who have lived a lot of years wondering why they have this sense of unease, of something in them being drained away, of a constant low buzz of agitation and discomfort in their surroundings, in the very place they should find the most comfort. When things that need doing are left unattended, it's like having little holes poked into our lives and our life force, our energy, seeps out and scatters; it escapes us and is unavailable for us to use.

I am happy to say that I did sit myself down one evening in front of the television with my pants, my old black t-shirt, and my sewing box, and while I watched Gordon Ramsay yell at chefs aspiring to win the big prize of running their own restaurant, I mended both pair with small patches over the holes. The task took me less than a half hour, and now I have two of my favorite pair of pants available for use again. Just that one activity, finally completed, gave me a huge sense of relief, and my own inner leak that had been poked by avoidance and procrastination, was thoroughly repaired. The mental, emotional, and physical rewards were so much bigger than the task of mending. The satisfaction I felt was worth celebrating.

Mending. It is a small chore, a seemingly small concept, almost nothing in comparison to just about anything. But it is deceptively and delightfully powerful. The task itself is calming, something productive to do with nervous hands, and it quiets the unquiet mind. But it does something in our spirits as well. It is a healer, a comforter, and a motivator. If you have items in your environment that need mending, take that first step toward tending to them. Then take the second step. By the third step, you won't even be able to stop yourself because by then, your soul is engaged in your own tiny bit of healing.

Finally!

2011-08-01T19:50:00.001-07:00

We finally got the new computer set up and running (we had run into some troubles -- long boring story). I will be posting blog entries again!

Thanks for your patience.

The Great Purge -- Bringing Order to My Small Home and Business

2011-07-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

I have spent some time away from blogging lately as I have been once more focused on making my home and my business play nicely together instead of constantly battling.

BY THE WAY, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM ANY OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO RUN A BUSINESS FROM A SMALL HOME. HOW DO YOU MANAGE IT? Feel free to comment here or contact me at laurel@abundantempress.com.

The absolute necessity of order and organization
The living room had become an overwhelming, messy warehouse pile of supplies, Create-Shop(TM) items, and supplies for my festival shows. My home is small (less than 1000 square feet), so any clutter at all tends to loom large. I hate being loomed over by anything, especially clutter. I could not stand it any more, and the sight of such disorder was not helping me deal well emotionally with my recent separation from my husband. In fact, it was making me even more sad.

By the way, I know I did some major cleaning and purging in April this year, but there was still one big pile left and then some added mess and chaos afterward due to the separation and preparation for and aftermath of the art festival. Once the super-focused energy involving the festival was over, the emotions from the separation came rolling in like that big cloud of dust over Phoenix. This does not mean life has been terrible at all, but I certainly felt the impact of grief.

Getting help and being grateful for it!
Getting back to the point, there are times when I can fairly easily face a big pile of stuff, break it down into smaller parts, and deal with each part effectively. This time my organizational brain power was just overwhelmed by other things. My energetic sister Roxy came to visit me from her home 4.5 hours away with her gym clothes (she is a newly-retired elementary school teacher) and her amazing energy in tow. She helped me get through the worst of it, and I could not be more grateful. Galahad came over the previous weekend to clear all of our old camping gear from the storage locker, and he organized the remaining contents in a way that left enough room for Roxy and me to fit all my art festival gear and my workshop supplies into the locker -- big win!

Dealing with the anxiety of purging space.
Sometimes my anxiety rises when I am purging old items and cleaning, especially if someone else is with me who is generally more organized than I am; I think I get performance anxiety or something or feel a bit of residual shame about being "messy." Roxy was great, though, did not make a big deal of it, and allowed me to hesitate when I needed to and gather my thoughts and continue working. We got through it in a matter of a few hours, and even though some boxes and baskets of items remain (such as 2 baskets of my favorite DVDs), the whole room looks much better and I am on a serious hunt for a pre-owned low-rise bureau or credenza to hold many of those leftover items.

A few healing tears and a lot of good memories
I had intended to sell the camping gear that Galahad removed from the locker. I went through everything and listed all the items on Craigslist. When I opened a particular storage tub that contained our camping fire starters, flashlights, batteries, etc, the scent that wafted from the container was that of a smokey camp fire. I confess I got tears as I recalled the camping trips Galahad and I used to take before we both got too creaky to get up off the ground any more. The first time we went camping was several years ago in early May. The weather was beautiful and the days were sunny, but the air still had a cold tinge to it. When we went to sleep that night in our tent, huddled under sleeping bags, wearing our pajamas, our clothing, our coats, and anything else we could find, I thought for certain we would freeze to death. When I actually woke the next morning, I was shocked and delighted and even a bit proud that we were still alive. It was great fun and I would do that again in a heartbeat if I could get up off the ground in the morning.

As for selling the items on Craigslist, I ran the ad for one day. I had my friend Jay hang out with me in case any weirdos tried to come and see the gear and tried to kill me or something. No one even called. Because I have zero patience any more for anything cluttering my space for any length of time, Jay and I shut the ad down at the end of the day, packed up as much of the stuff as we could, and donated it to Goodwill. YAY!

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Sharing a Few Thoughts on the Value of Friendship in Adversity

2011-07-07T07:11:00.000-07:00

Because my friends have been so steadfastly supportive as I navigate the recent challenges in my life, I am posting these quotes that I published in my July newsletter.

On Friendship and Overcoming Adversity:

The effect of one good-hearted person is incalculable.

-- Oscar Arias

In adversity those talents are called forth which are concealed by prosperity.

-- Horace

In prosperity, our friends know us. In adversity, we know our friends.

-- John Churton Collins

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

-- Napoleon Hill

If you wish to subscribe to the email version of my newsletter, please contact me at laurel@abundantempress.com.

Mmmm...

2011-07-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

What can you make from a pound of hamburger, a packet of Ortega taco seasoning mix, some tortilla chips remaining in the bottom of the bag, taco sauce, and some frozen diced red pepper that has been thawed and browned just a bit in the frying pan? Yummy freakin' comfort-food nachos, that's what!

New Items Being Added to my Etsy Shop

2011-06-29T23:10:00.000-07:00

I was not able to get as many items listed today as I had hoped. I am having a bit of trouble with the photo editing, but I will keep adding items throughout the week.

I can already feel the hot humid weather moving in (predicted earlier today on the news). I tend to wilt in the heat. I think some peppermint bon bon ice cream is in order.

A Few Photos

2011-06-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

I am feeling a bit under the weather, so this will be a light post. Just a few photos from the festival this past weekend:

My banner, which I ordered from Office Max. I think they did a great job!

Jay -- my awesome friend of 30 years (and the muscle behind the operation).

One view of my tent -- Swiss Gear ordered on Amazon - Very nice quality and easy to set up once each corner pole locks correctly. That was the only challenge, though.

Table on day 2. Jay enjoying a few quiet minutes with one of his ever-present 4-pound books.

Other side of the table day 2.

I will tell more about the festival later this week. I will also share photos of some other artists who were exhibiting. For now, I am going to get some more shut-eye.

Things on the home front are back in the forefront, and I am feeling it. Galahad visited me at the festival. That was nice of him, but bittersweet. We had a chance to really talk for a while today, and I appreciated what he had to say. It is complicated and requires a lot of emotional effort. It feels like my emotions are trudging through a big vat of thick syrup.

A Lovely Art Festival

2011-06-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers -- I had a great time this past weekend displaying my art, sharing my dream, and swapping stories with so many wonderful people who attended the Eagan Art Festival as well as other artists. All the fresh air and excitement did affect me, though, so today I took a few naps. Tomorrow I plan to be back in the studio again, creating new items.

I took several photos at the festival and will share those in my blog post tomorrow. Also, I cleared my Etsy shop of all the older items. I will be posting lovely new items to Etsy on June 29 this week, so I hope you will come back and take a look at that time. I am really getting deeper into what I love and enjoy, and I think the items are reflecting that. I got a lot of great response at the festival, and I have a few sweet stories to tell.

Visit me again this week for my updates. Thanks for checking in!

Painful Migraine, But Still Progressing.

2011-06-19T02:21:00.000-07:00

I have had a steadily worsening migraine for 3 days now. Today was pretty much torture -- nothing I did brought any relief whatsoever. I had to go to Sam's Club in the rain to pick up a table for my booth, and every rain drop that fell on my head while I wrangled that table into the car felt like an anvil falling on my skull. I still have so much to get done for the festival, so I worked as much as I could before my eyes refused to send signals to my brain any longer.

I completed my "Come Out of Your Shell" piece -- the one that looks like a bushel basket with hatching eggs in it. I also completed my "Gentle Green Man" shelf piece. I thought I would never see the end of that one, but I am quite pleased with how it turned out. Here is a teaser showing his eyes. I have wanted to make a Green Man piece for years with the purpose of interpreting gentleness, so I am happy to have finally fulfilled that desire. Have a look:

Artwork and Photo copyright 2011 Abundant Empress, LLC

I am not posting whole photos of the completed items until after the festival is over just because I don't want to spoil the surprises.

Had Your Daily Shot of Cute?

2011-06-11T12:49:00.000-07:00

If not, here it is:

A Current Art Project So Far

2011-06-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

This one is dedicated to artist of lovely beaded jewelry (and such a helpful friend) Cheri Meyer. She encouraged me to relax and shine with my art and I thought about little birds hatching from their shells. Thanks to Cheri for the inspiration for this piece. It is called, "Come Out Of Your Shell" and is still being created.

Artwork and Photo copyright 2011 Abundant Empress, LLC

Also, I was blessed with marvelous synchronicity today. I need table covers for my tables at the art show, and I hate purchasing fabric because it is so expensive, and remnants never seem to be a workable size. My friend Nan told me today that she has a piece of white fabric (just the color I want) 5' by 20'. That will more than cover what I need. This is awesome.

Doing a show like this can get expensive, especially since it is being held outdoors. I purchased a canopy and attachable walls this week. I found the best deal I could find on Amazon as it was less expensive than Wal-Mart or Sam's, but it was certainly spendy enough as it was. I have a 6-foot table already, but I am going to purchase a 4-footer as well (at Sam's) since I will need room to take payments, write out receipts, etc. Plus my buddy J who is helping me and I will need some kind of surface to eat our lunches. I still need to get a manual credit card "knuckle buster" so I can accept credit cards. I don't have an iPhone or a Smart Phone, so I will not be able to do them online real time. That is an investment for future art shows, and I hope there will be several. I am getting excited, folks!

Galahad is coming over for the day tomorrow. I am hiring his expertise in document creation and he is going to help me select some products at Best Buy. It will be good to see him. He is doing pretty well -- tough going, but he is taking it a day at a time and succeeding so far. I admire that. I know it is not easy.

A Little Inspiration for Getting Things Done

2011-06-09T10:58:00.001-07:00

From the film Mary Poppins, my favorite film as a child. This was the first time I ever asked for a record album when I was a child -- I was five years old and I wanted the soundtrack. My parents gave it to me for Christmas that year. Like Matthew Garber, I had a hard time snapping my fingers.

Woozy Sunday

2011-06-05T11:50:00.000-07:00

It turns out that the pain I felt on Thursday night was not a sinus headache at all, though the pain was all through my face and ear. When I lay down to go to sleep, I about jumped out of my skin because of the sudden jolt to my jaw. I can't recall when anything has hurt so much. Think of giving birth to a bowling ball through your jaw. Ow.

Thankfully, it was only a few hours before my dentist's office opened, so I got dressed, ate some yogurt through one side of my mouth, and sat on the bed waiting until I could leave the house, trying not to faint. The office was to open at 7 AM. When it got to be 6:15, I realized I could not wait any longer in case I might faint while driving. I got to the office at about 6:30 and watched as the dentists, hygienists, and office staff arrived for their workday. At 6:45, I sort-of stumbled into the office and told the lady at the counter that I knew I was too early and I explained my condition and wobbled a bit. They quickly got me to a chair and were so wonderful to get my in for an exam right away. My dental office is the best; they have helped me through other emergencies as well, but this one was the worst I could recall.

As it turns out, the X-ray showed that I had a vertical root fracture. It was in the root of a tooth that already had a crown on it (probably due to a crack in the tooth at that time). The crack had apparently become a fracture that went all the way down the root. The only thing they could do was pull the tooth. I am not crazy about losing a tooth, but I was relieved that I would not have to pay for a root canal or new crown. Extraction is much less expensive.

Once the tooth was out, the pain decreased quite a bit. Two days later, I am still in pain from the actual extraction, but at least not the kind of pain that makes you wonder if you will pass out. I had a new dentist for this procedure too, and I really like her. The whole staff was great. There was none of this, "well, we can get you in on Monday," or "we can get you in for just an X-ray at 3:30 today" as has happened with other dental clinics at which I have been a patient. These angels got me in immediately even though they had other patients with appointments coming in all the while (and being treated without delay).

Now I am alternating taking Tylenol 3 and Ibuprofen every 4 hours. I still have discomfort from the extraction, but the medications handle it pretty well. I am still progressing with my projects. I completed the bowl last night and have started another smaller project.

I am napping a lot, though. When ever the pain meds kick in and the pain goes away, I get exhausted and fall asleep, which is what is happening now.

More Progress on My Art

2011-06-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

I am knocking off comparatively early tonight because I have a very stubborn sinus headache. I have used sinus wash and Wal-phed (Walgreen's generic for Sudafed) and a migraine tablet, but this dang thing will not quit. So I am quitting and going to bed. Hopefully I can sleep it away.

Anyway, here is the progress so far on my piece, Miss Megan's Ribbons. I am almost done. Just need to add some more detail to the base to tie it all together.

Artwork and Photo copyright 2011 Abundant Empress, LLC

I am also very close to completing my Green Man shelf. I have to make up my own verse for that one. It is a spiritual piece, so I want it to have a message.

Further Progress on My Green Man Project

2011-06-02T02:29:00.000-07:00

I have been up very late painting. It took a long time to settle down in the studio to work as Wednesday was a difficult day emotionally. But I did get at it and got a lot done on both current pieces. I am just showing the Green Man shelf progress so far. Once I got to this point, the rest of the steps and the desired outcome revealed themselves to me. I love the creative process. You have to actually create in order to discover just what you are creating. Life is juicy that way.

Stay tuned... His face is going to be revealed soon.

It's Not Over Till It's Over

2011-06-01T10:57:00.000-07:00

Though I know my decision was the right one for me to make, memories of our long past do come up and flow over me in waves now and then throughout my days. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I yearn for the happy days that I recall. Sometimes I miss Galahad very much. He was my pal. I have never found it so easy to be with anyone else as it was to be with him. We were so interested in everything the other liked or did. I miss him so much sometimes it feels like I am dragging myself across jagged gravel. Overall I am doing well and with time I will grow stronger, and the stinging, jagged, awful sadness will fade. The person I miss is not really the Galahad I presently know; it is the Galahad who loved me until his love for a substance took him over. But boy, did I love that Galahad of the last 12 years.. I do have lots of cause for happiness presently and I make sure to notice and take it all into my soul. I allow myself to feel happiness that comes from everywhere -- the sun, bird songs, my goofy cats, my art, my friends. I smile often, laugh often, enjoy my playful side. And then I remember and cry.

The beauty of tears, though, is that each time they come, they wash a bit more of the soot and grime away, the soot and grime that hides in the nooks and crannies of the pain itself. Each time I cry is like a soothing warm bath for my emotions. Sometimes I try to avoid the good memories of our life together as well as the confusion and heartbreak of the last 8 months. Sometimes I keep trying to swallow the lump in my throat until it begins to feel like a solid wooden bocci ball. Then I remember that I am free to cry. I am not sitting in a cubicle in some stuffy beige office surrounded by ringing phones and curious eyes. I am free to let it out, and each time I do, the tears take something of the ugliness away from me and send it on down the river.

Allowing myself to feel what I am feeling and to cry when I need to also helps me to manage the stress associated with this parting of the ways and with the stress I am beginning to feel about completing everything for the Eagan Art Festival later this month. Galahad was going to help me with the actual festival, join me in setting up, displaying, and selling my creations. He would have been so good at it, and he would have enjoyed it. It is sad now that he will not be a part of it, but thankfully my friend Shea has stepped up to the friendship plate as he always does and will be there with me. Shea is awesome. Galahad is awesome too; he just needs help to find that in himself again and strengthen the good qualities he has so that his addiction does not eat his life away (or the lives of those who love him).

Another current project

2011-06-01T01:38:00.000-07:00

Here is a view of another project in progress. I found this delightfully-shaped wooden bowl and I am painting it with the favorite colors of my friend, artist Megan Rheault. I was also inspired by some of Megan's body art, but I have not painted that part on this piece yet. Stay tuned to my blog to see more as I progress on this piece. I am enjoying this one a great deal

Clear As Mud?

2011-05-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

To clear up some confusion for the readers of Galahad's blog, when he talks about "we" from now forward he is talking about someone other than me. I visited him on the Sunday of the big tornado in Minneapolis, but I have not seen him since and at this time have no plans to do so, though I cannot be sure that visiting him will never be necessary. He is talking about someone else, and no, that is not at all the reason why I left the marriage. I won't go into more detail than I have, but I cannot very well say nothing since part of the purpose of my blog is to communicate my art and my life journey -- ups and downs, warts and loveliness. It is all here, and I cannot just skip over an extremely significant event and period of time in my life. I personally had good reason to leave (and to start moving on), but it does not have to do with another person. And yes, I loved him very much. Right now, recent events have clouded that and as I have said I do not recognize the person I have seen him become. That is why I left.

Clear as mud, right? I will let him clarify when and if he ever feels like doing so. I wish him well and hope he is able to succeed in his efforts to change some things he really needs to change.

'Nuff said. I do not plan to discuss this issue again in any way other than a passing comment when I am telling you about my journey onward.

Another Happy Video

2011-05-29T20:33:00.001-07:00

I love this song by the Cranberries. When Dolores is surrounded by butterflies or sailing in the hot air balloon -- that is how I am beginning to feel. Free, free, free. Happy! It's not my imagination...

Peace, Freedom, and Creativity!

2011-05-29T16:27:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhh.... Long contented sigh.

Life is good, and creativity is the cherry on the top
The weekend started out pretty hairy and a couple of my days were taken up with current demanding ISSUES, but I am back in the swing of painting and creating. I am having such a great time.

I never realized how much stress I was under since about October of 2010, constantly questioning, concerned, and then increasingly worried and feeling so helpless, not knowing what was happening,. It has only been a week and a half since I found out and the big light bulb shown brightly on everything that has happened, illuminating the situation, and it all added up in flash.

I am very glad that I decided long before I was married or ever confronted this severe an issue that if a problem of this nature occurred in my marriage, I would end the marriage. And in this case, the problem was not new. It had been going on for 8 months before I finally became aware of the cause. Because things had become pretty deep and entrenched by the time I found out the cause, I knew I had no option but to get out because I know that things will not get better any time soon. This situation has had time to become a real habit with real consequences, and I don't need that. Because I had made the decision long ago to save myself, it was a no-brainer and I acted quickly. I am really glad for that.

My readers know that I deal with chronic clinical depression and anxiety and have done since I was a child. With the help of medication that I take every day and will take for the rest of my life, and with even more help from having learned a LOT of coping skills and having the love and support of true friends and yes, much support in the past from Galahad in better days, I have been able to create a really happy and joyful life with lots of humor and interest in everything around me.

Over the last 8 months, though, the constant stress, the worry, the not knowing why all these puzzling and troubling things were happening were all bringing the depression and anxiety back to me in huge waves. My work really suffered and I lost my focus. Anyone who runs a business knows how dangerous it can be to lose focus for an extended period of time. Lack of clarity and focus will derail the best efforts. I was trying to communicate, to find out what was going on so we could deal with it, but never got a straight answer and so could not even hope to solve the issues. That made the depression worse. When I started my coaching course with Christine Kane, I discovered that her point about clearing from your life things that do not match your core intentions is really effective and brings to light what really needs to go. I had my inklings then that I might have to end this marriage because there was no way to know how to solve the issues. My heart started to close down. I made some efforts, but came up against a wall every time. Nothing we were going through supported my life intentions at all, and indeed, completely hobbled them.

So when that information finally came from a trusted friend, I knew that was it. It was over. At first I felt uneven about it like I was walking on shifting sand, but I kept packing the stuff and moving it out. I have seen him once since all this, and after more turbulent days, I don't feel I need to see him any time soon, maybe I don't need to see him at all. I feel I need to focus on myself, my healing, my own business tasks and goals, my plans, and my wonderful friends and family members who have been so very wonderful to me and so supportive over these past 12 days. My mom has really been a trooper! Emotional support, caring, and even humor at such a time is essential to repairing the broken heart. So many have shown me that.

There is one person (friend of a friend) who told me that I shouldn't feel guilty about feeling good when this is going on. Guilty? Sorry, there is not one ounce of guilt here. I am feeling better every day, and I am happy as can be about that. I am free of that 8-month heavy anvil on my back and I am living again, getting things done, seeing friends, making helpful and healthy choices. Guilt? Um... NO.

My work is coming along well, though I always feel like I am behind and have lost some time as I said due to more issues. But I am back on track. One thing I have discovered (and I am sure everyone else in the world knows this except for me) is to stop working on a project when I get stumped and go on to another project. I used to waste so much time suffering and trying to force something to work when it was not working and my frame of mind would become increasingly frustrated and non-productive. Now I have learned to stop on a particular project when the blocks are up. I set it aside and work on something else. I have room to set projects aside now for moments like that or for when I am waiting for something to dry -- the recently vacated desk in my studio provides the perfect space for that, and it has really made a difference in my rate of progress. A valuable lesson - don't fight too hard and struggle. Sometimes you have to give space to a problem in order for the creative flow to solve it in your unconscious, one of the delightful and deep mysteries of living life and making art.

Come See Me at the Eagan Art Festival
And... drum roll please... If you happen to be in the vicinity of Eagan, MN on June 25 or 26, you can stop in and see me at the Eagan Art Festival. It promises to be an enriching and delightful event with many talented artists -- I know this because I know some of them. The link is below for details. Hope to see you there.

http://www.eaganartfestival.org

Progress on a New Project (So Far)

2011-05-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

It will look a lot better once it is done, but I just thought I would share what I am working on today:

Had a Lovely Day Today

2011-05-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

I had a very good day today. I went to the local art supply store to replenish my supply of paints and get some new brushes. I used a brush last night that was so terrible it left behind bristles with every stroke, and when I tried to pull stray bristles out of the head gently using a cloth, it just kept shedding worse than my cats. I also purchased several paint tubes in all delicious colors of lime and lavender, russet and earth.

For those of you who read Galahad's blog as well, I was with him on Sunday when the tornadoes hit Minneapolis. I had picked him up so we could have some time to talk and we stopped at Wendy's because I was hungry. While I ate my spicey chicken sandwich and Galahad munched on some fries, the sirens started blaring all over the place, and all we could see in the sky behind us was that deep sickening blackish-blue-green that heralds nothing but trouble. I was chicken to hang around, so I started the car and got us quickly on the freeway heading out of that part of town.

When I was on my way to pick him up that day, I drove through one of the places that would be severely hit just minutes later. Sheesh. Too close for comfort, these dang storms.

Galahad and I did have a good time with each other on Sunday. He was much more "present" than he has been in many months. It was a bit of a bittersweet encounter. We still held hands when we walked.

We went to Best Buy and purchased a computer for me. I have wanted to handle that for quite a while as my computer is over 10 years old and just does not have the room to do the kinds of image editing, documenting, and storage I want to for my business. It is supposed to be ready tomorrow.

This time I actually hope it rains tomorrow so Galahad can get off work and help me get it all hooked up. The love and friendship are not gone; they just have to be different now.

Heartbreak and Healing

2011-05-23T22:47:00.000-07:00

I got a lot done today - primed several pieces and put the first two coats of paint on one of them. I feel on like I am walking a razor's edge with my emotions. I have been so exhausted and experiencing a lot of stomach upset as well as feeling like a swarm of bees lives in my head and bawling like a baby at odd moments. I feel like the ground below me is shifting.

In the midst of this, I do feel glimmers of relief, relief that I finally know what is going on, relief that I am still intact and moving away from the damaging effects of the fallout. Galahad is moving in a helpful direction himself (which is a relief also), and I hope he does well. As I have said in a previous post, my friends have been very supportive and encouraging. I know there is a good life ahead of me. I just need to keep moving toward it. The bitch of it is, I had a good life with Galahad for many years. I miss that and will continue to miss it. But eventually, the new life will crowd out the old, and the pain will become a foundation for joy.

I have been listening to "Return to Innocence" by Enigma over and over again. There is something to hopeful and healing about that song, and the video that goes with it -- time and motion going backward to a lovely beginning when all is new and full of promise.

Here is the video. I hope it touches you with life:

When Love Is Really Not Enough

2011-05-22T02:10:00.000-07:00

This has been a painful and exhausting week. I have spent much of my time weeping and sleeping. I have much to accomplish for an art festival I will be participating in one weekend in late June, so I really need to get on it, but the issues of this week have been utterly draining. I am glad that when I finally found out just what has been going on these last 8 months or so, I made the decision right away to save myself and end the marriage. Galahad is a wonderful person with a great big problem, and I doubt he would have started getting help (thankfully he has started getting help) if I had not taken action right away to get him out of the house.

I have been with him for 12 years, nothing to sneeze at. We have made our way together through thick and thin, good times and bad. That was all manageable because I knew what we were dealing with and I knew he was present with me to make it through. But I don't know this person who has been so distant these last many months. I cannot fix his problems, and I cannot afford to stay with him and still keep my life intact. I am not equipped to deal with his situation. Sometimes love must mean letting go, taking the hard stance and not wavering.

The support and encouragement I have received from friends and family (and even those in my coaching program who I have never met) has been so helpful and comforting. I know I will move ahead, and it actually helps that I have so very much to catch up on for the art fest and my coaching lessons. I am behind on both, and working on them will keep my mind occupied in a healthy way.

At times over the last few days I have thought that perhaps someday when he gets himself worked out we might be able to pick up with our marriage again. But I know that life marches on, and I insist on marching with it. We are too old to be all wrapped up in wasteful activities and I cannot fix him. I cannot control the situation, and I am not interested anymore in pouring all I have into solving someone else's problems and ignoring my own life and dreams. I insist on following my dream. I may not get another chance, and I cannot wait around to see if Galahad is doing what he needs to do for himself. So I know that as time passes and I am on my own and he is working through his issue, we will both change. This does not bode well for reconciliation, and I cannot even think about that right now.

I know that working on my art will help save me even though loneliness may loom ahead. I have learned, though, that I have some really good friends and that I am much more powerful than I have realized in the past. I am also much more focused and through the hard knocks of life I have learned that this too shall pass. Life does go on. And I plan to go on too.

When Life Hands You Lemons

2011-05-18T17:30:00.000-07:00

You have little choice but to make lemonade. This is what I am currently trying to do. Without being too maudlin about it, I need to let my readers know that my marriage has ended. I knew something was not right for a long time, and now things have been made clear to me and have left me little choice but to end it. I do not do this lightly; I truly thought I was married for life. But life had other plans I guess.

In any case, I am making the best decision for myself. If I am sporadic in posting at this time, please bear with me. I will try to hop back on the trolly soon and show you new projects I am working on.

In the meantime, I wish you all well.

Paying Homage to a Fellow Artist Through My Art

2011-05-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

Warning -- Image Heavy!

I have quoted Julia Cameron on this before, but I will do it again: "Artists love other artists." It is so true. The really lovely thing about that is that we get to make things that honor each other.

My latest eco-friendly, upcycled art project is a wooden leaf-shaped bowl. I knew the basic design I wanted to paint (found my design inspiration in a lively pattern from a paper plate used for my recent tea party), but I was stumped for what colors I should use. I enjoyed the colors I used for the tray I custom-painted for my friend Shea, so I wanted to use similar colors. Here is that tray again for those of you who have not seen it:

But I also wanted to experiment with other shades and other colors. I wanted to use a purer orange shade and go for different greens, so I started noodling around the internet, looking at the art of my favorite fine artists and artisans. It did not take me long to visit the Etsy shop of my friend Cheri Meyer of From Out of the Cracks. Her free-form peyote stitch bracelets never cease to enchant me. I found exactly the inspiration I was looking for when I saw her Celtic Power bracelet (Photo is copyright 2011 Cheri Meyer, used with her permission):

Detail Shot. Photo (C) 2011 Abundant Empress, LLC

My thanks to Cheri for being true to herself and making her beautiful art and inspiring me to be true to myself and make mine!

To All the Moms

2011-05-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

Wishing you all the best today. In a short while, Galahad and I are leaving to have breakfast with my mom and dad at Denny's. My mom picked the restaurant. I confess that I look forward to some Grand Slam breakfast, or Moon's Over My Hammy. Can't help it.

Sneak Preview

2011-05-04T01:53:00.000-07:00

My internal clock is out of whack again. All it took was staying up till 4 AM one night to work on my current project. I was on a roll and did not want to quit, but here's the thing: I got a lot done on it and I figured out the rest of the design, which will go on the back of the item. I was too tired to paint the back, but I was so excited about having an idea for its design and being so near finishing the project that I could not get to sleep at all until about noon. Ack! So now I am all backward. I understand and agree with the wisdom of having a regular schedule, but I also need to ride the wave when the winds of creativity are blowing, so to speak. Galahad has learned to let me go with the flow in my studio while he sleeps. I think part of it is that the house is so quiet at night and there is little to distract me, so I can really get into the work. But I do prefer living during the day rather than catching up on sleep, so I need to lead myself back into daytime living. Again!

It does not help that I worked nights in my former career as a computer operator years ago. Ever since then, even though I had a day schedule when I worked as a business analyst after moving out of the computer room, my body is prone to staying up all night if there is the slightest distraction or idea (and all the good ideas seem to come at night). Couple that with the crazy hormonal activity at this time of my life, and you have a perfect recipe for lots of sleepless nights. It can be frustrating, but I really cannot allow myself to wig out about it too much because many of these nights have been productive. Still, I want to enjoy the sun and springtime.

This particular project was another study in color for me. I liked the colors I used in the tray I custom-painted for a friend recently -- the periwinkle, the rose color, the orange. In an effort to branch out a bit with colors for this project, I took some inspiration from a jewelry piece made by a fellow artist. I will post details and photos of how I was inspired by her work once I complete the project, but for now, here are a couple of teaser photos for you:

I hope you will check back later this week to see the finished product and the item that inspired me.

Wednesday (today I guess) I am going to pick up my mom at her home and take her to the fabric store with me so I can find some cloth remnants to use as backdrops in my art display photos. I often use crushed velvet, but I have come the conclusion that sometimes crushed velvet, though elegant, can be too imposingly formal. I need something with a bit less impact and more of a mellow quality.

I have been watching some episodes of House on Hulu during this late night awake. Ah, nothing like a good dose of Hugh Laurie to while away sleepless hours, though I believe that Robert Sean Leonard, who plays Wilson, has the most plum role on the show. If I were Mr. Leonard, I would dance my way to the set every day.

Terrible Storms Across the Southern U. S.

2011-04-28T09:09:00.000-07:00

I cannot recall ever hearing of so much devastation in one day across so much of our country as happened yesterday all across the Southern / Eastern United States. The most recent information I have is that the death toll has reached 215 so far. My heart goes out to those who are hurt or suffering or who have lost loved ones in the horrible and violent storms of yesterday and previous days. The destruction has almost been relentless.

I personally support the American Red Cross. They are one of two charitable organizations I care deeply about (the other being the Humane Society). The Red Cross quickly goes where help is needed and provides emergency services to those facing disaster. I have seen our local chapter of the Red Cross in action when the home of a large family we know burned to the ground and nothing was salvageable. The Red Cross got to the scene almost before anyone else and provided blankets, clothing, food, and emergency shelter, the stuff of life, the things most needed.

If you wish to make a donation to the American Red Cross to help the victims following the barrage of tornadoes across much of our country, please visit http://www.americanredcross.org

My hope is that all my readers are safe and unharmed.

My heartfelt wishes go out to all of you for your safety and well-being as well as the safety and well-being of your loved ones.

Delightful Options and Artist Megan Rheault

2011-04-18T18:38:00.000-07:00

I am getting a tax refund this year. I had not really thought about it before doing my taxes, so it was a nice surprise. It isn't huge, but it is timely as it will allow us to purchase a new air conditioner. We have one in our living room wall that is broken (repaired twice and still broken), and one in our bedroom wall that works but is very annoying because it roars VERY loudly all the time. That one was repaired twice as well and still roars. It's not great for our neighbors to have to listen to that, so I am glad we will be purchasing one new one and can probably shut off the roaring one at night.

I have a rule that when ever I receive unexpected income, I use a small portion of it to purchase an original work of art, and this time will be no exception. I heartily believe in supporting artists and entrepreneurs, and it pleases me to put money into something that comes from my heart. By the way, the coaching program that I am taking by Christine Kane -- the Uplevel Your Life series, mentions this very thing, only her perspective is to actually tithe (pay 10%) to any organization or person who has helped or inspired you spiritually. I think this is a very helpful way to show our gratitude for the spiritual inspiration and help we receive in our lives, and it helps further the work and well-being of those who have helped us. From now on, I will be following this policy for myself. I think it is also very grounding and actually lightens the burden of financial concern. (Christine Kane is a successful musician and songwriter as well as a very helpful life coach. I have found her courses so far to be beneficial for my life as she understands that entrepreneurs in the creative fields tend to have a unique set of challenges, and she focuses on HOW to live one's days so that one can fulfill one's intentions daily. I can feel changes happening in me, and they are being reflected in my life and my business. You can find more information about Christine and her coaching programs at http://christinekane.com/).

I am a long time in posting this photo, but a few months ago I hired local (awesome) artist Megan Rheault to do a sketch for me. I love fairies, princesses, and basically anything that fits into the realm of fairy tales. Megan has a particular talent for capturing that enchantment, delight, and magic in her art. I have mentioned the sketch she drew, but have not posted the actual image in my blog. You can see more of Megan's work on her blog http://pixiegirlstudios.blogspot.com/

Here is Megan's beauteous sketch. This sketch is (c) 2011 Megan Rheault.

Pretty amazing, huh? I love all the ruffle and ribbon details as well as the sheer sleeves and the fairy's lovely face. After Megan finishes with the multiple projects she has going on right now in preparation for the Saint Paul Art Crawl, she will be drawing the companion piece for me.

To get a more in-depth look into Megan's life as an artist, along with that of her artist husband Joe Rheault, please see the interview I did with them which I posted previously -- http://abundantempress.blogspot.com/2010/07/local-artists-joe-rheault-and-megan.html

Have a lovely and magical week!

The Soul of the Home and I Finally Filed My Taxes

2011-04-18T06:15:00.000-07:00

I finished my state taxes last evening and then filed. I will say that I used a popular tax software (have used this product for years), but I will not be using that product again -- multiple problems. Next year I will hire a professional human being. I am really glad to have that task behind me for this year.

Today is gray and cool, looks like it could rain, the kind that can turn to snow. I am so happy that I have gotten so much of my spring cleaning done. Having much of the clutter at least corralled in one place has really helped me relax, as has knowing the corralled items will soon find proper homes. Disorder really is stressful, and I did not realize how stressful until things were put in order. Meal planning and cooking are far easier (and far more fun) now that I have an organized pantry to work from. I believe our homes develop something of a soul and that soul needs to be cared for and maintained. I am seeing that a cared-for home embraces its owner. The more I recognize this, the more "at home" I feel and I start to really enjoy all those lovely items that I have stored away in the hutch -- the colorful mugs in all different designs, the glass dessert dishes my sister gave me long ago for Christmas, my teapots. I am able to enjoy and really live in my home. I had not realized how little I had been doing that when things were so disorganized.

I am definitely experiencing a release of energy as a result, and creativity as well. I think I am going to try putting a permanent sewing station in our living room. I want to be able to work on items at a dedicated sewing table rather than having to pack everything up each evening so we can have supper at our dining table. I figure if I plan it really well, measure everything carefully, and stay very organized, this could really work. I think Galahad and I can come up with an idea for building a folding screen ourselves -- something attractive and simple to hide the sewing area when not in use. I like this energy flow. I like finding solutions.

Royal Wedding -- Now This Is How It Should Be Done

2011-04-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

A delightful dance-spoof video of the Royal Wedding. http://royalwedding.yahoo.com/blogs/the-royals-get-spoofed-4952. I don't know how they found people who look so much like Camilla, Princess Anne, Princes William and Harry, The Queen, Prince Edward, and Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, but they did a darn good job.

Makes me wish the real wedding would go this way. That crew needs to cut loose once in a while.

Hot Tea on a Cold Day

2011-04-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

Last night we had a snowfall that stayed on the ground until melting this afternoon. Even though the snow melted, it is still a blustery and cold, gray day outdoors.

Note: all photos posted below are copyright 2011 Abundant Empress, LLC. Please do not copy or use without permission.

Today I hosted a tea party at my place for my entrepreneurial women friends. There were 4 of us at this first party, and I plan to host one each month or every 6 weeks. Enough to stay connected, but not so often that it becomes a drudge. It felt good to entertain in my home again even though we have a big elephant in the area between our living and dining room -- elephant being the pile of supplies and stuff that I don't yet have a place for. But at least it is all gathered in one place now, which is a big improvement over everything being stacked willy-nilly all over the living room as it had been. I had felt really embarrassed about the disorder, but my coaching program has really been helping me plug those energy leaks by working on a small part of the task at a time.

Here is the pile (the elephant in the room). My cat Sarafina posed in front of it.:

The guests were very understanding about this eyesore. I should probably do what my friend Deb does in cases like this; she throws a sarong or a blanket over stuff-piles in her house so it cuts down on the visual noise. These items are waiting for homes in our home. Once we get the chest of drawers we are planning to use to hold our huge television that we affectionately call Big Fred, many of these items will find a home in those drawers. Big Fred weighs 223 lbs and right now sits on a table that is too small and probably not strong enough for the job.

Here is a post-party shot of the table after everyone left. We had a lot more treats that people brought, so the table was full of various kinds of teas and yummy goodies. But at least you get the idea. I purchased the plates at Party City, and I love the design. I might use them for an art project. I have to say that Party City has pretty good prices. I never feel bad about spending money there for my various class-hosting or entertaining needs because I always find what I want and it does not break my wallet.

I loved having the chance to use my little Polish Pottery sugar bowl. The leftover snacks are brownie bites with cream cheese frosting -- YUM! Behind the table are the storage shelves that line the dining room wall. I will hang sheer curtains in front of them to hide the ugly boxes and stuff, just haven't sewn them yet.

This first party went very well. I think the group was perfect in size, and everyone got along and had a lot to talk about. I love my entrepreneur friends. They are so full of ideas and excitement and so supportive of each others' challenges and happy for successes. They all seemed eager to attend the next one.

We currently don't have a coffee table in front of our sofa and I needed more places where people could set their cups or plates. I have a tiny ottoman that is an accessory to a 1920s-era chair that my mother reupholstered for me. The woodwork on this ottoman (and the chair) used to be all scratched up and faded, but my mom did a lovely job of staining and restoring it. To make it into a usable table, I placed my vintage ivy tray on it. To keep the tray from sliding off, I stuck a little bit of rolled duct tape to the back of the tray and it stayed in place nicely and was not a problem to remove afterward.

By the way, I have often mentioned the shelves we purchased at IKEA for storing my inventory and supplies. They line the wall of the dining room. I have room for more items on them, so I need to get them filled completely. The middle of the tall shelf is serving as our bar. Galahad does not drink at all, and I drink very little, but I thought it would be fun to actually have a place to mix drinks when company comes. My current stock is very small (and old), but it is a start. The tall thing in the corner of that shelf is a candle holder. I thought it looked kind of cool as a column in the bar, and will look better once I stock the shelf with glasses and an ice bucket. The top of the shorter set of shelves provides display space for my vintage tins and for my lovely amber glass pieces from my mom. The basket holds my various teas. I love the horse brass on the wall below the painting. Some of it was purchased on our honeymoon in Scotland. I want to go back.

Now I am going to have some pickled herring (or as I call it, Heavenly Nirvana Fish), and maybe take a nap for a bit. I have to create some procedures for my coaching assignment, so that will constitute tonight's entertainment.

I'm Back...

2011-04-13T11:49:00.000-07:00

I'd love to say that I have been on holiday traveling to distant exotic places, or that I have been in NYC schmoozing with The Donald over which C-level celebrities will be chosen to participate in the next round of Celebrity Apprentice, but I have no such lofty excuses for not writing my blog. I pulled back and hid for a while so I could address some challenges in my life and get some perspective. I waited like a bird in an egg. It was necessary, and I thank all of you who have hung in with me during this time.

The Tax Man Cometh.
Yeah, I waited until the last minute, but I have calculated all my receipts and mileage. My tax documents sit in three manila folders on my studio desk waiting to be reported, and my Turbo Tax Software has been installed. Tonight after we get home from meeting my parents for supper at a local restaurant, we will get my taxes done. I hate taxes. Every year I rant. And I write about ranting. I am going to splurge on carbs at supper and have French toast to fortify me for the hated task of entering the numbers. Really, since the invention of and improvements in tax-calculating software, I have little reason to complain (and I am not supposed to be complaining per the rules of the coaching program in which I am participating). There ends my rant for this year.

Local Art Scene
I have submitted my application to take part in my city's annual art festival held in late June. I have to pass juries, so it will be a while before I hear whether I got accepted. In the meantime, I am working on projects to show, but the ideas right now are like honey that has crystallized. I know they are there, but they need to be stirred up and a little heat added to get them moving.

Last week I completed the interview for my June 1 newsletter. I interviewed the supervisor of the little art house just up the street from me. For the longest time I had no idea that the little old house situated all on its own next to a tiny park and some distance away from the neighborhoods was indeed an art house. I used to drive by it all the time knowing that something went on there because I often saw several cars parked next to it, but I could not see a sign anywhere indicating what it was. One evening when I drove past it, I saw that a sign had finally been posted on the front of the building indicating its purpose as the art house. All this time right under my nose, and I never knew what it was.

It is an amazing little place that offers classes in everything from drawing to pottery to fused-glass jewelry-making. I took several photos and will post them in my blog here after the June 1 newsletter goes out. After the interview was finished, the supervisor asked me to take part in a group that was meeting on Sunday as part of an ongoing process to discover what citizens of our fair city desire for the future of the arts and culture here. I attended that discussion this past Sunday. I was a bit hesitant at first since I knew no one and I am a newbie to the scene, and discussion groups can be iffy in terms of openness and response. I was pleasantly surprised, though. Everyone I encountered was very open and friendly, and when we broke into smaller discussion groups, people were enthused and engaged and lively. One animated lady all dressed in red was very excited to present research she had done into the possibility of purchasing a church that is for sale and converting it into a cultural center with space for a performance auditorium, activity rooms, and private studio spaces to be rented out to artists. The event proved to be an eye-opening good time. I was glad to be able to contribute some helpful suggestions myself and delighted to meet these people, talk to them about their own artistic ventures. Plus, there were really good cookies.

The Empress Needed a Proper Pantry

2011-03-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

I finally took control of the corner of our front hall closet that also served as our really disorganized and nearly useless pantry. With our efforts to save money (and to battle the constantly rising prices of food these days), I needed to get organized and get something together that would work for us rather than against us.

We were planning to purchase metal shelves from Uline (only place we could find that had the size we want at any sort of reasonable price -- $79.00). I was loathe to spend the money, but figured I could recoup the investment through bulk buying and efficiency. Then we had one of those lovely serendipitous experiences. A dear friend of ours was giving away some old storage cubes he had purchased at Target. At first I was skeptical, but once I put it together, I saw that this option worked much better than the shelving would have. And we did not have to pay anything.

Pictures of pantry area before and after:

Bags in our front hallway, full of food bought at Aldi or on deep discount from other grocery stores. We have been tripping over them for a few weeks now. And yes, I do need to vacuum.

The ugly corner of the closet with one of two plastic drawer-thingies, junk on the floor, and a low tub on the right that held the cat food:

The other cube drawer-thingy that used to be stacked on top:

First look at the cubes stacked. Note the nifty new cat food container I picked up at Wal-Mart last night.

Innards of the top-most cube:

Middle cube:

Bottom cube (open): Perfect fit for all our whole-grain pastas, boxes of Hamburger Helper, and Zatarain's, plus a few boxes of potato mixes..

The cereal cube...

Drawer space for those pesky plastic bags (they multiply like bunnies).

Drawer space for pesky paper bags (threw out umpteen piles of these suckers).

Full open view:

And I have two whole drawers in which to store my plastic cutlery and paper bowls and plates! This is only part of our effort. We are planning to stockpile more items to hopefully purchase things before the prices jump even higher.

I Commissioned a Lovely Work of Art from Pixie Girl Megan Rheault

2011-03-25T00:20:00.000-07:00

I know I have not posted for quite a while, but I hope to post my progress on our pantry (with before and after pics) on Friday. I have been consumed with all things domestic lately, and it will show in my posts.

On the artistic front, please check out my artist friend Megan Rheault's post regarding the beautiful fairy pencil sketch I commissioned her to create for me. It is so very lovely. I really don't know how she created so exactly what I wanted when I was not even sure how to tell her what I wanted. I nearly got tears in my eyes when I unwrapped it. She did an amazing job. To think that she can just take a pencil and -- poof!-- this is what appears on the paper.

Check out the sketch on Megan's Pixie Girl Studios blog:
http://pixiegirlstudios.blogspot.com/2011/03/i-want-to-draw-another-fairy-princess.html

Even though it is technically Friday now, I still think of it as Thursday night, and I have to say that receiving this sketch from Megan is my big reason to be thankful for this week's Thankful Thursday. What a pleasure!

Finished Project

2011-03-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

Some photos of the project I finished and delivered to my friend Shea on Friday (he loves dragons):

The back of the tray:

Detail of the back:

He really loved it. I think this was my most fun project yet -- so personal and playful.

Abundant Monday

2011-02-28T23:25:00.000-08:00

First, a photo of one of our feline kids. She is extremely high-maintenance when she is not sleeping, but when she sleeps, she is an angel. Honestly, we really do live our lives around what she is doing -- whether she may have sneaked into our bedroom closet and started eating our clothes (yes, she does eat our clothes), whether she has barfed across the floor and we don't discover it until someone slides, whether she is trying to chew electrical cords, or chasing an errant medicine tablet as we scramble to retrieve it, whether she is terrorizing her little feline sister, whether she is in a biting mood (we call those her "devil days"), she is one high maintenance kitty!

As far as her biting moods, I have actually had some success in curbing that behavior. When she bites, and EVERY time she bites, she is put into "time out" in the bathroom for 7 minutes (a minute for each human year of her age). I got the minute thing from watching Super Nanny on television. Anyway, because this one cannot stand to be away from the action (since our home is such a happenin' place), time-outs are really powerful for her. Biting frequency has dropped to negligible levels (unless we do not play Laser-Mouse with her immediately when she begs us to).

She is sweet, but can't you just tell she is plotting something wicked in her dreams?

Rich and I connected today for our weekly updates. He is rolling along so fast that he is already planning to make an offer on the property he and his wife have been looking at for the last few months. Those who had cautioned him in the past or had not really been on board with what he wanted to do have "somehow" come around on their own. The wheels are turning, and I believe his strong intention has brought the Universe on board. We will see if the offer gets accepted. I will be bummed in a way if it does since it means he and his wife and kids will move about an hour further from us than they live now. But it is their dream, and if this is the place for them, I am so excited for them.

I started my first daily assignment today for the Uplevel Your Life(R) coaching program by Christine Kane. I have continued painting my friend John's custom order, and I am scheduled to deliver it to him on Friday. I also went to Aldi today and snapped up some deals, adding to our pantry. I am feeling pretty good about things lately. I feel that every day now I really do move further from that old life and I more easily inhabit my new life.

Since part of my new life involves embracing hearth and home with more energy and creativity, "hearth and home" is the theme of my Abundant Monday artistic feature today.

From the Etsy store of Southernbogprims (http://www.southernbogprims.etsy.com), comes this lovely sentiment on rustic background. I love the simplicity of the saying and the overall look (Photo courtesy of Southernbogprims)

Southernbogprims has several other unique and whimsical items for sale. Check it out.

Here is a fun and colorful item from JL Rutter on Etsy (http://www.jlrutter.etsy.com). I have a thing for braided hearth rugs, and I have a thing for color, as you will see. Rug photo is courtesy of JL Rutter.

Nice, huh?

My mother once made a huge rug like this for our long living room. She used to shop the thrift stores for all the old woolen items she could find and she made a really awesome rug.

It's time to get back to painting. See you on Bloomin' Tuesday.

Making It Up.

2011-02-24T02:06:00.000-08:00

I am embarrassed that I missed the Bloomin' Tuesday entry, but I am awake very early Thursday morning, so I will get my Thankful Thursday written on time.

First, the make-up for Bloomin' Tuesday.
I actually did not do all these things on Tuesday, but I did them over the past several days. Just knowing I need to post something for Bloomin' Tuesday helps me keep moving forward. One effort I am undertaking lately (started formally following a set process this week) is shopping for and purchasing the healthiest, best-quality food I can find for the least money. I was inspired and am following the guidance on http://www.grocerycouponguide.com. I have searched a lot of sites covering this topic, but this site has the most understandable, step-by-step instructions that I have found. For something to impress me enough to where I actually take the necessary actions and follow it is a significant thing. I threw out all my old coupons and started over with several weeks' worth of Sunday paper coupon inserts. It took me several hours that day to examine everything, clip, and organize the little money-savers because I allowed so many inserts to pile up. People have all kinds of reasons (as I did) for not using coupons, but the site deals with all those reasons and explains why it can really benefit to use coupons. The author of this blog also made the point of getting to the goal of only shopping from your pantry for meals, and shopping the stores only for finding the lowest prices on food possible by combining couponing skills as well as shopping the specials. Actually, the author is against taking the trouble to actually clip the coupons, but I am compulsive that way -- I must have them all clipped and filed in my coupon keeper.

The author says that when you first start out with this effort, you will make mistakes, but you will get better at it quickly. I actually did make a mistake that cost me some money -- the local grocery store had a special on turkey breast, but I forgot to use the coupon for that. I was bummed, but counted that as my requisite mistake. It was still less per pound than purchasing ground beef on sale. In the course of two shopping trips, I filled in our pantry of the items it was lacking in order to offer lots of options for making meals, and I saved about $25.00 altogether. I figured that was not bad for a first major go-round. By the way, I do shop Aldi to get great prices on soups, canned veggies, cheeses, yogurt, ground beef, and milk, but there is not an Aldi located very close to us, and nowadays I have to consider the high cost of gas (!) vs. the savings on food. I will still go to Aldi at least once per month to stock up and save significantly, but going as often as I used to when gas now costs well over $3.00 per gallon is out. I am dedicating myself for a few weeks to working this coupon guide plan. I enjoy the challenge, enjoy these moments in life when I can make a game out of something practical. So far, I am happy with the results.

To be done: We still need to get the shelf unit we want for the pantry from Uline --they offer a good price, and we have a Uline warehouse close to us so we can save $30.00 on shipping. The shelf unit is a restaurant-type, metal, sturdy and strong, and the savings of having somewhere to store our pantry items in an organized manner will pay for the unit within a few weeks of following this plan. I checked Home Depot and Menard's for the shelving I wanted, but what they had did not fit the need as well as the one from Uline.

We also got the large IKEA Billy storage shelf unit built and placed in the dining room along with the three sets of smaller shelves we put there several months ago. It all goes to store inventory, supplies, and finished products for my business. The shelves actually look very good even though our dining room is small, and we bought the extender shelf so the tall unit goes all the way to the ceiling. I have been getting it all better organized and getting rid of the piles I had on the floor by our living room wall -- ugh. This is a big step forward as it clears my mind to have the inventory items organized.

To be done: make curtains to go on tension rods in the shelf units so items can be hidden away in a pretty and unified fashion. This will cut down on any visual confusion of having to see items of all sorts stacked on the shelves, and since the shelves themselves are brown, the lighter fabric of the curtains will keep the room looking brighter.

Thankful Thursday
I took part in an online seminar this evening with a business and life coach who came highly recommended by an artist friend of mine who benefited a great deal from this coach's program last year. So I gave the call a try and found it practical, sensible, and helpful. Though I am pleased with my choices to do what I do, it does feel like I am adrift in my own little boat on a big ocean sometimes. I thrive on encouragement and fellowship with others who are dealing with the same things. For this point in my life, having a coach and a built-in group of several hundred other entrepreneurs who are at all phases of their goals will be very good for me, and the price was more than reasonable for such services. I still have several friends from my entrepreneur classes, and I actually plan to organize a quarterly get-together with several of them so we can stay in touch, encourage, and help each other. Several of my former classmates, however, are going through some heavy-duty life issues that either prevent them from moving ahead on their entrepreneurial efforts at this time, or take up any extra time they do have. And some have completely changed their business goals and so are in the throes of starting from scratch, which requires all their energy and time. This is not uncommon when starting a business. People often change their direction once they get the lay of the land. So this more consistent meeting with coach and group right now is a good thing.

I still do meet with my Small Business Development Counselor (which does not cost me anything), and he is awesome, but our interactions are limited due to his availability -- he is in great demand. Also, while he gives great practical advice (for which I am thankful), he admits that art is not his thing, and the creative aspects of an artistic career are not his forte. So this is where I find the coach to be a very practical and helpful choice. Being a successful professional musician herself who built her own career from scratch, she focuses a great deal on the particular aspects of the creative career and dealing with one's own creative pitfalls, joys, practices. I am very, very thankful to have both kinds of support. I start with her program on March 7.

I am also thankful that I no longer have to spend 3 hours EACH WAY commuting to and from work in these recent huge snowstorms. I do not miss that commute at all. On a good day, hitting all the lights on a green, I could make that commute in 20 minutes. But if the slightest thing went wrong - a stalled car on the side of the road, lights that are red every time I drive up, or inclement weather, the journey automatically took an hour to three hours, depending.

Galahad made an awesome supper tonight. It was my idea, but he added the veggies to the concept and did the prep work:

Spammy Potatoes:
1 can Spam, cut in cubes and fried in pan
1 potato per person, baked and split
Shredded cheese sprinkled on potato
Add dollop of sour cream on each
One serving mixed veggies (from frozen steam-in mixed veggie bag purchased on sale) spooned onto each potato.
Hot Spam cubes spooned over the entire thing.

I am thankful because it was delicious (and Galahad did the prep)! I have never been a fan of Spam and always thought of it as kind-of a joke food, but Galahad has always liked it, so I picked up a few cans on sale. I would not have it every day, but it was just fine the way we used it. I calculated the total cost, and it ran about $1.30 per serving -- not bad for supper.

I am also thankful that I did a lot of freezing of fresh veggies and fruit last summer. I took a bag of frozen strawberries out of the deep freeze tonight, let them sit in a bowl with a bit of sugar sprinkled on to draw out some of the juice and I made a treat to go over Neapolitan ice cream for dessert. The strawberries were delicious and I did not add too much sugar, so their natural sweetness was strong. Yum. Big thumbs-up from my big guy.

Well, it's late, and this empress needs to get to bed. I am up late thinking and listening to music on my headphones, but I gotta get some shut-eye.

Abundant Monday

2011-02-21T23:35:00.000-08:00

I am running late with this, but I did not want to miss writing it. We have had a huge amount of snow yesterday and today; and to think much of the previous snow had melted away last week leaving the hills that dirty, sleeping green color. Now there is no green to be found, and the birds that had been whistling last week are silent. Roads are treacherous; I have not been out.

I e-mailed my friend Rich to update him on my progress over the past week, but I have not heard back yet. He works a full-time job and runs a hobby farm full of goats, chickens, ducks, and a horse. Plus, he has five kids, and in this snowfall, I imagine there is a ton of stuff he needs to do on the farm.

Galahad did a few things for me last week that have really helped me clear my head and get more creative. I will detail those things in my Bloomin' Tuesday post. I did not start off so well with that category; I missed writing my action-dream-alignment accomplishments last week. So tomorrow will be a fresh start.

I am having a good time painting the custom order for my friend John. For some time I was nervous to work on it because I did not want to make a mistake or make something he would not love. He is an eager art admirer, and I really want him to be delighted with what I am making. So I had to just push through that and continue on. It's like I have this bunch of little kids inside me, yammering at me the way the kids on the playground yammer at the kid who does not do well in sports or who does not wear the "right" clothes. I seem to have a whole regiment of little doubters inside me, little brats who tell me this is impossible or I cannot do it or any host of negative bleh-blehs. Author Sonia Choquette in her book Your Heart's Desire talks about the principle of attention (turning your focus on to what you really want) and the principle of intention (the will and action to manifest that focus) has been of help in dealing with the little gaggle of haters. Having a clear focus and forming my intention and determining to stick with it is most effective in hushing that gaggle up by directing my attention to the task at hand instead.

I had actually purchased Sonia's book more than a decade ago and had done the worksheets and everything at that time. I had searched my soul and written down my heartfelt desires at that time. I tried to focus on those things and set my intentions on getting them to happen, but I felt like I let myself down at that time because those things I wanted did not come to pass then. Well, let's take a look back at those desires now. At that time, I wrote that I wanted to be part of a loving, encouraging, and committed relationship. I now realize I met Galahad the same year I wrote that desire. I also wrote then that I wanted to work at a location within 10 minutes' drive from home, or most preferably, work at home. Well, look who is working at home now. I guess that even though at that time I felt like I dropped the ball because I did not take a lot of involved steps to make these things happen at that time, I must have set the wheels of intention in motion anyway. Perhaps I was too ignorant at the time and probably too scared to take appropriate actions toward those desires. But the intention was there, and eventually, both those things "happened" to me. What I mean by that is they came to me or I was suddenly dropped into them by forces outside my control. I firmly believe now that even then when I was not paying all that much attention to either desire, I had revealed my intention to have those things. I believe the cosmic work started then.

I consider this discovery of then vs. now to be another confirmation for me to encourage me to continue along this path, that this is right for me even though it feels so weird so often. Changing my paradigms is an ongoing challenge. Believing that this IS what I am supposed to be doing is even more challenging, but I know I am being very directly and specifically encouraged to keep going, that there is lots of fruit on those limbs. Also, all of this has been a huge lesson in learning to take one day at a time. It is not that my life is now completely without stress; on the contrary, if I allowed myself to really experience all the stress that seems to wait in the wings eager for an opening to pounce and toss me around like my cats toss a wadded-up piece of paper, I would burn out really fast and become useless. So taking one day at a time is essential to moving ahead in any direction, let alone the direction of a dream. I have always been a worry-wart, constantly making my own and others' lives more difficult with my ceaseless "what-ifs." Well, now I am far more careful to block that kind of thinking quickly and focus on today, what needs to be done today, ways I can enjoy today and be of some encouragement to someone else. This day-by-day approach is really helping me get things done and is giving me that needed sense of accomplishment. As a result, it is also fundamental in allowing me to create the life I love a little at a time. I still have worries, but as Jesus said, "let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day." I take on the troubles that are marked for that day. The others I leave alone until they need to be addressed. It helps.

I am getting some joy back and am finally convincing myself that it is okay to be having a lot of fun now. It is okay to enjoy my life, to delight in learning and improving my art, to enjoy making my art, to learn better, more cost-effective home skills, to become something of that earth mother who makes things by hand and cooks out of her pantry and works cleverly to make her home a place to gather in comfort, to be cradled in light and warmth and joy. I am not receiving unemployment insurance; I am doing this myself with husbandly input from Galahad. It is okay to enjoy this new life, to enjoy the adventure of seeing where it leads.

Now, for my abundant inspirations this week, I chose the theme of journaling, partly because I need to remind myself to be keeping up with my journal-writing and partly because there is about 16 inches of new snow on the ground and journal writing is an indoor, cozy activity, one that feels luxurious when accompanied by a hot mug of flavorful tea. poured from a stout and beautiful tea pot.

First, an earthy-looking journal, thick with papers, bound in soft leather from Moon Bindery in Canada. You can see more of Moon Bindery's items at http://www.moonbindery.etsy.com. Journal photos are property of Moon Bindery.

I love that little tree detail on the cord.

Look at that lovely paper. It invites the author to write.

Next, an amazing stone pen created by Sarabby Creations of Nashville, TN (Etsy address is http://www.sarabbycreations.etsy.com). What a feast for the eyes this pen is, and I would think that using it to write would inspire one to write their beautiful (and not-so-beautiful) thoughts on paper. Just holding it would be a treat. Pen photos are property of Sarabby Creations.

Cool, huh?

And the experience is made more cozy and satisfying with a hot pot and mug of tea to warm the soul. Take a look at these pretty, handmade creations by OC Pottery of Orange County, CA. (Etsy address is http://www.ocpottery.etsy.com). All teapot and mug photos are property of OC Pottery.

Such a graceful mug, such a lovely color.

I hope you will check out these items and other items by these artists on Etsy. And I hope that if you do not already journal, that you will start. I am not the most consistent at it, but I write at least a few times per week. Journal-writing is such a help in quieting our souls and allowing us a place to let our cares flow out of us and onto the paper, to discover creative solutions to our challenges. Happy journal-writing.

Abundant Monday

2011-02-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

I received the business / dream updates from my business buddy Rich today. He is making a lot of progress in getting his current house in order, crunching numbers to see if the property they are looking at just Southwest of the Cities will work out for getting their bed and breakfast venture moving. There are a lot of things he and J need to consider, but he is well into the research, and I am very excited for them.

I actually got in touch with a local community art venue today and scheduled a meeting there for Wednesday to look the place over and discuss possibly running some of my create-shops there. It gives me a chance to reach a built-in audience as well as gain from that art organization's marketing efforts. Marketing is not so very easy for me, so if I can get my events lined up through them, they will handle some of the marketing. I am also checking into running these events through a local church that supports spiritual seeking and creativity.

Since I was on a scheduling roll, I went ahead and scheduled my medical appointments for later this week as well. I had been avoiding doing that because I get tired of writing checks for things like that. We are being so careful with money, and I know that these appointments need to happen even though it bugs me. It's like having to spend money on toilet paper -- not something I want to purchase, but there is no other choice and we have no big old Sears catalogs available.

Abundant Monday is also the day I like to explore art that inspires me. While I am definitely on a beer budget right now, I can still indulge my champagne tastes for classic Hollywood glamor by perusing the Etsy stores and finding some wearable artistic delights. These are just some of the wonderful items that have sparked my imagination today.:

These are crushed velvet fingerless gloves or arm warmers as they are sometimes called. The artist is Zen And Coffee at Etsy -- you can find her work at http://www.zenandcoffee.etsy.com. I love the romance of items like these. Lovely, old-world look, so whimsical.

And this lovely confection -- a delightful evening bag by Sherri Weese Designs -- http://www.sherriweesedesigns.etsy.com. I love the mix of feathers and beads and the purple with the silver -- so nice.

And since today's inspirations include fanciful evening items, here is a lovely detailed hair clip in one of my favorite colors -- periwinkle. This item comes from Etsy seller Snowbella (http://www.snowbella.etsy.com).

Pretty, pretty... feeds my femininity.

Bloomin' Tuesday

2011-02-08T15:17:00.000-08:00

The start of another blog semi-regular category -- welcome to Bloomin' Tuesday. Bloomin' Tuesday is my version of practical application of the old adage, "bloom where you are planted."

In the early '70's, our church had that saying embroidered on a big banner and hung in the front of the sanctuary near the cross. We also had guitar services. I was about 12 at the time and thought it was all cool. I never really absorbed the message of that banner at that time. I did not really think about that message until I read Julia Cameron's The Sound of Paper (excellent book). In that book, Julia talks about allowing oneself to dig in to life, to nestle, to create lovely surroundings where ever one might find oneself. Julia says it helps nurture creativity and brings one into better connection with one's life so that art can flow forth.

I have long had a problem with doing this -- I have always gone just so far in creating a lovely space and then I have stopped because I was moving to a different location or became depressed or somehow felt I did not deserve a lovely place to be. I am trying to follow the message now: Bloom where you are planted. It took all these years for me to get it. I guess I needed some kind of permission to really devote myself to my life. So Bloomin' Tuesday will be the (hopefully) weekly posts where I will share in detail just what I am doing to encourage my home and my life to bloom.

Last night Galahad and I did some much-needed housework in our living room. It felt great afterward to have it done and the room looks so much better. Then we settled down to a big bowl of popcorn and a re-run episode of "Big Love." That show is awesome.

Abundant Monday is Almost Over

2011-01-31T22:19:00.000-08:00

So I can just get this in under the wire.

Husband and I finally got over to the new gym yesterday and signed up. Our old gym was fine except for the lack of customer service. When Galahad saw this new gym was offering very reasonable prices and a lot more options for getting fit, we decided to give it a look and made the decision to go with it. We each get 2 complimentary training sessions, and I had my first one today. For not having worked out for the last 3 or 4 months, I did much better than I expected. By the time I left I was plenty sweaty and a bit out of breath, but I maintained my target heart rate for 45 minutes straight

Working out is a must for me. I have to build my strength back up and maintain it. I cannot just go for a walk because my knees get too jarred when walking any distance. Now that I will be building up the strength in my knees again, walking will become another workout option. But I do need the machines and the safe environment that the gym provides. If I fall over there or get too tired to move another muscle, at least I am not out on some road somewhere on my own. Working out regularly is also a great stress-reliever and mood manager for me. I need that. Working on my own from home and being away from people for substantial amounts of time, I need that time out of the house and I need to work things out and sweat in order to maintain a good outlook.

Also, my health insurance is giving all clients one year of their health coaching services free of charge starting this month. This was donated to the plan by the main provider. I signed up as soon as I could. This is an answer to a need I had expressed: A couple of months ago I let it be known that I was trying to do too much on my own and I really needed someone to work with me on the health side of things, but I could not have afforded to pay for that. Then this notice came in the mail about the coaching program. Also, if I meet my health goals (and I am the one who sets the goals after talking to the coach) I will be awarded gift cards of $100.00 or more. I could even win having my quarterly premium paid one quarter. I won't be reimbursed for any portion of my gym fees, though, but that is okay. The fees are very reasonable and I look at the gym as an investment that will pay off in dollars from my health improving and being able to do more business. That is substantial. In any case, I have my first call with my health coach on Thursday this week. We have talked, and she knows I want to drop 50 lbs this year. I can stand to lose more than 50, but I want a realistic goal that will make a good difference for the issues I deal with. I do feel cared for in these situations where specific needs are automatically met without me initiating them. The synchronicity that Jung spoke of is definitely present.

I am meeting with my Small Business Development Counselor tomorrow. I have a lot to tell him, so I am preparing the documentation now. Things are rolling along bit by bit. Marketing is becoming the bane of my existence. People love the create-shops and my art, but getting the word out beyond my known circle is not the easiest thing, and then getting people interested enough to sign up and pay is another. They are glad they did once they receive what my work offers, but getting there is not the easiest thing I have ever done. I don't quit, though, because I know that if you quit, you stop right where you are and never know what you could have done. I fumble often, but I do not quit, and I do believe that my work is of value to my clients as their feedback indicates..

Behold, "The Love Goddess" Featured Valentine's Day Item

2011-01-28T00:01:00.000-08:00

I finished painting my Valentine's Day Featured Item, which I call "The Love Goddess" and have listed her on my Etsy shop. Click the Etsy button on the right to see the listing itself. Mind you, only the first photo is "work safe." The other photos on the Etsy listing are explicit.